Page 111 of The Risk Taker
“Stay here. Until you figure things out.”
I don’t know exactly what that entails, or what’s going to happen next. But I don’t want him facing it alone. And I have selfish reasons for wanting him to stay with me too. I like him here with me. Ilovehim here. Just like this, lying in bed like a regular couple.
Seeing him back in New York has gotten my brain running at a billion kilometers a minute. Could this be us one day? A real couple with a real life together? No hiding, no false identities? The idea makes my throat burn with how much I want it to be a reality.
“You want me to stay with you?”
“Don’t you want to?” I try to disguise my disappointment, but he sees right through it.
He slides a hand up to cup my neck gently, his thumb massaging over my fluttering pulse.
“Don’t I want to? I can’t believe you even have to ask…” His blue eyes shine as he gazes at me. “Fuck, Jude, you have no idea how much I want that. To spend all night beside you and wake up together.”
He presses his lips to mine, tilting my chin up and presenting my mouth to him so he can ease his tongue past my lips. He kisses me with slow confident strokes, and I sigh happily into it, smiling against his mouth.
“I don’t deserve you,” he murmurs.
“Stop,” I argue, kissing him back with growing tenderness to convey how much I disagree with him.
He presses one final kiss to my tingling lips before easing back and lying against the pillows.
“I shouldn’t have dragged you into all of this.” He pulls a hand down his face and stares at the ceiling.
I lean over him, ignoring his comment, and reach to the nightstand to pluck the little carved oyster shell from it. Slade’s eyes follow me as I place it on his bare chest on top of his tattoo.
“You found it.”
“I did. It’s beautiful.” I run my finger over the smooth wood.
He wraps his hand around mine, directing the tip of my finger to the small, perfectly glossy pearl inside.
“I found it on a dive six months ago. I was saving it.”
“For what?”
“For you.”
“We hadn’t met six months ago.”
His face softens. “Maybe the ocean knew we were going to.”
My stomach flips. That’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard him say.
“No grit, no pearl,” he murmurs. “Made me think of you. What you said about your father’s expectations of you. And the way…” He pauses like the next words taste sour. “Your ex treatedyou. You’ve chosen what’s right for you. You don’t let other people dictate your choices.”
He smooths his thumb over the ‘J’ inscribed in the wood. “I’m glad you found it, and that you like it.”
“I love it,” I breathe, closing my hand around it and placing it back onto the nightstand.
I try to ignore the swell of memories rushing to the surface. The feelings of disbelief and utter devastation when I found it. When I realized he was gone.
“I saw my sister and father today.”
The confession tumbles from his lips so fast that I look at him in surprise.
“My father’s remarried, and they’re having a baby. My sister was kissing a man she claimed she never liked. And my brother has a daughter now. They’ve all moved on.”
I look into his eyes. They’re swimming with a mix of confusion and hurt.
