Page 20 of I Dare You
I break the hug, like always, and gesture with my chin to where Kit sits.Dandy turns over his shoulder and rolls his eyes.
“Great.What does he want?”
It’s a fair question because I can’t remember the last time I saw Kit in here.
“Ice cream?”I offer with a smile.
Suddenly, our song comes on, and nothing else matters.
The song in question is “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.”
I remember the first time Dandy and I had ourDirty Dancingmarathon.It was one of the best nights of my life.And since then, we’ve watched it endless times.
It’s something that is ours.No matter how ridiculous we look, this is our thing, and when either of us has had a bad day or we’re feeling low, this is our go-to to make everything better.
Dandy looks at me as my mouth drops open playfully.I point at him to lead us into the melody, just as he’s done a thousand times before.But he doesn’t need any encouragement.He dramatically uses the mop as a microphone.We commence singing, the mop our makeshift prop as we take turns singing the male and female leads.
But when it’s a duet, things get wild.
The chorus hits, and we both sing out of tune at the top of our lungs into the mop, living out our ’80s dreams.We look like complete idiots, and we don’t care.
We butcher the song, having the time of our lives, laughing hysterically.I forget all about Kit until Dandy takes my hand and twirls me.I spin and see him leaning forward, arms crossed, unsure whether he is about to laugh or suggest we get help.
I like that he’s watching me, though.He has a look in his eye I can’t quite place.
It makes my heart race for another reason.
Dandy kisses my cheek when the song ends.“Bestest friend ever.”
I know he means that I always have his back and can distract him with our makeshift karaoke.
I take the mop from Dandy and commence cleaning where he left off.He walks over to Kit, and I watch as they start talking.
Dandy rarely mentions his father.That topic is off-limits.And I respect that.However, one night, Dandy shared that he and Kit were close.But when his father died, Kit pushed everyone away.Dandy thinks Kit blames himself for his father’s death.As the eldest son, he believes he failed his father in some way.And now he carries the responsibility for his family, taking over where his dad left off.
It’s a sad thought, because I understand it too well.Kit and I are alike in some ways in that sense, both blaming ourselves for the death of our parents.
I continue cleaning, looking at the clock on the wall.
Ten minutes till closing.
Most would be happy, but the familiar sinking in the pit of my belly weighs me down.I don’t know what mood my uncle will be in.Sometimes he leaves me alone.Other times, however, he doesn’t.
I gulp past the lump in my throat.
I may be able to stand up to high school bullies, but I’m still that scared little girl when it comes to my uncle.I don’t understand the power he holds over me, but I guess he is the link to the past, reminding me that if I hadn’t asked my parents to go to Bethany’s birthday party, they would still be alive.
It’s my fault they’re dead.
And no soul-searching or therapy will tell me otherwise.
“Don’t be mad?—”
“Never a great way to start a conversation,” I say with a smile to Dandy, wringing the mop.
“Would you mind if Kit drove you home?”
“Why?”I ask, not wanting to sound ungrateful, but well, why?
