Page 102 of I Dare You
“I did?”I certainly don’t remember running.I figured that when I blacked out, I passed out like a dead weight, incapable of moving.So running?That’s news to me.
“Yes, although ‘running’ is probably too kind a word.Picture a zombie in a frenzied chase for brains.”Dandy sticks his tongue out to the side and stretches his arms ahead, doing his best impression of the undead.
This isn’t funny by any means, but again, I burst into laughter.
“Is that why you left?You’reactuallya zombie?”Dandy quips, arching a suspicious brow.
“You’re safe then,” I reply, “especially if they only eat brains.”
Dandy clutches his side in mock laughter.
This is the most absurd thing to be laughing over, but this is classic Dandy and me.
Silence overcomes us once the laughter subsides.
I look around and recall that these woods are similar to the ones where I was hunted and raped.I don’t know where I am, so they may be the same one.The thought of returning to the place where my life changed has something shifting inside me.
Perhaps that’s why I ran into here?
But I’m sick of running.
I’m sick of hiding who I am.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night,” Dandy says with regret.“The whole going back to whatever hole you crawled out of comment.I didn’t mean it.”
“I deserved it.What I did was a really shitty thing.”
“Which time?”Dandy asks, only half playing.
“I’m sorry, Dandy.I don’t deserve your kindness, yet you’re saving me again, just like when you found me in the girls’ bathroom.”
“God, that feels like a lifetime ago.”
“It was,” I reply sadly.
With a hesitant touch, Dandy places his hand over the back of mine.“What happened, Hallie?Please tell me.Was it me?Did I do something wrong?”
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t live with myself knowing Dandy might blame himself for something that isn’t his fault.I came here for a reason, and maybe part of that reason is to lessen Dandy’s pain.Perhaps it will help with his own demons.
The truth sets one free…
“That night, the night I left work, I was chased down and hunted by three men.They followed me into the woods where they blinded me, subdued me, and raped me,” I confess in nothing short of a whisper, unable to face Dandy as I keep my eyes focused on rocks in the dirt.
“I escaped before the last man could do to me what his friends had.I ran and ran because nothing else mattered but getting away.I found their car, but when they found me, I killed one of them by running him over.”
It feels as though the entire woods is listening because a stillness lingers.I need to get it all out before I lose my poise.
“I didn’t stop driving.It would mean I’d have to face what I’d done.And what was done to me.I started a new life.But I never forgot about the one I lived with you.But I couldn’t drag you down with me, Dandy.No one should have to deal with something so horrible.I wanted you to remember who I was.Not who I became.
“It never had anything to do with you.You were the only reason I ever wanted to come back.But I couldn’t.”
I take a much-needed breath.
Dandy is quiet.
I’m afraid to look at him.
