Page 22 of Into the Blue
Ineed to back off.
I need to ignore how great Jade’s ass looks in those trousers. How fucking fantastic she smells. How there’s something vulnerable lurking in those green eyes, something that wants to draw me in.
She’s a guest. And that’s what she needs to remain.
But as I watch her wander around the temple taking photographs, tilting her head back, closing her eyes as though trying to pull some part of the essence of the place inside her, I want her.
I can’t deny it.
Something is pulling me to her, despite the walls I’ve put up for so long. It’s been over two years since I’ve been with anyone. Since I lost Susie. I thought I was doing okay, serene in my little bubble. That I could stay like this forever, that I deserved to do so. But Jade has broken through, somehow.
I don’t know if I can fight it. Or whether I want to.
She comes back to me, her green eyes wide, her lips parted. She bounces slightly, and I try not to look at her tits. “This place is so beautiful.” She shows me a couple of shots on her phone, her voice bright with excitement. “I’ve never been anywhere like it.”
“We should go soon, if you want to get lunch.”
“Oh. Yeah, okay. I do, I mean. Just let me take a couple more shots.” She wanders off again, limping slightly. Shit. I totally forgot about her injured leg. Strange, when I’m so aware of every other part of her.
I go after her. “Hey, we can go back to the cabins if you like. If your leg hurts.”
She grins. “My leg is fine. Just, can we come back here again? Another day?” She turns, slowly, one arm out. “It feels like a good sort of place to be. But then the whole island is a bit like that. At least, the bit I’ve seen so far.”
“You sure?”
“About what? The island, or my leg?” She’s glowing, the soft light reflecting from the pools shining in her eyes, making her hair gleam. Again I remind myself that she’s a guest and I…
I’m what? Too much of a chickenshit to make a move? Not really.
Too messed up to make a move? More likely.
Torturing myself? Definitely.
“Both. Neither. I’ll bring you here whenever you want, just ask.”Ask me for anything you want.
“Okay.”
She walks past me, close enough to brush against me, so I smell her frangipani scent, can almost touch her braid. She heads for the path, stopping to take a couple more shots along the vine-hung gorge.
I realise I’m just standing there, watching her ass. I snap myself out of it, and hurry after her.
Oh yeah. I might be screwed.
I need to remember why I made the choices I did.
Otherwise I could ruin everything.
Jade
I rest my cheek against Axel’s broad back, my arms wrapped around his waist, as we speed down from the hills towards the beach. The day is still bright and sunny, and I wonder where he’s going to take me next. I feel dreamy, still caught in the magic of the temple, the filtered green light, the beauty and simplicity of the place. It feels as though I’ve stepped out of time, as though I’m somewhere totally removed from the rest of the world, my worries floating away.
I haven’t checked my messages at all. Even when I got my phone out to take photos, I deliberately swiped the screen without looking. Maybe I’m in denial. Or maybe I’m making a choice for myself and no one else. It feels like a long time since I’ve done that.
I hang on to Axel, letting him take me wherever he wants, while telling myself that this is all that can ever be between us. He seems to have his demons; I definitely have mine. And I don’t need to fall straight into another relationship, despite the pull I feel towards him. I tell myself this as though I don’t have my hands on his hard abs, as though I’m not breathing in his warm scent like it’s incense, or imagining what those broad shoulders might look like without a shirt on.
In the end, I give up. Who am I kidding? I’d fall into bed with him in a minute if he asked. So, hopefully, he won’t.
“You hungry?” The words are almost swallowed by the wind, Axel turning his head so I catch a glimpse of his profile.
