Page 25 of Into the Blue
“Shall we sit?” Axel’s voice is a quiet rumble, the heat of his body close to mine as he leads me to a carved stone bench. I sit, not taking my eyes off the view. I’ve travelled to a lot of beautiful places, ridden waves around the globe, but being here, with him, feels somehow profound, as though I’m being shown something important and I need to figure out what it is.
Axel is quiet, like he knows I need time to process things. Tears prickle the back of my eyes as I watch the view, the tiny boats and curling waves. It’s as though we’re in a world of blue seas and green islands, a place untouched by noise or danger or superficiality. But I know that’s not true. This island is an escape, yes, but life has a way of catching up with us. We can only run for so long. My breath catches, and I blink.
“Are you all right?” Axel’s quiet presence is soothing; I feel I could sink into him and he could hold me, keeping me safe. No one in the world, apart from him, knows we’re here right now. But I don’t feel alone. Far from it.
I turn to him and smile, though my vision is blurred. “I don’t know what I want,” I say, the words surprising me.
He tilts his head. “In what way?” Still quiet, still gentle.
“Forget it.” I shake my head, feeling stupid. What am I doing?
“Okay.” Again, just acceptance. It spurs me to talk more.
“I came here because I wanted to escape… a lot of things.” I chew my lip, still staring out to sea. “To figure out what I want to do next. I have to go back, though. I can’t stay here.”
“You can stay as long as you need to,” he says. “But don’t you have another competition in a few weeks’ time?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Yes. How do you know that?”
Red pools along his high cheekbones. But he just shrugs, grinning. “I might not be part of that scene anymore, but I know when the big comps are.”
“Uh-huh.” I grin too, unable to help it. “Shame I can’t surf, though.”
His smile slides away, a line appearing between his brows. “Yeah. About that… I spoke to Mish. She won’t bother you again.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t.” He holds my gaze, and something seems to build between us, like a thunderhead out at sea. Then he turns away, breaking the spell.
I take a moment to breathe, because I need it.
Axel
For someone who swore off relationships a long time ago I’m doing a pretty good job of turning today into a date. First the temple, then Dom’s place, and now one of the most romantic views on the island. I know at least two couples who got engaged up here. What the fuck is wrong with me?
And then letting it slip that I know when Jade’s next competition is. I tried to shrug it off, but I could see intrigue in her green gaze. Better, though, than the tears that threatened a moment before. I sense that, like me, Jade is carrying a lot. However, unlike me, she’s going to go back into the world and face up to things. It hits me, not for the first time, that I’m just hiding here, as though I’m sheltering from a storm. But the rain and wind are catching up to me, nonetheless. Maybe it’s time for me to face up to things as well. I get the sense I’ll be forced to, sooner or later. I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone.
“What was that building we passed on the way up the hill?”
“Which one?” I know which one she means. But I also know it has the potential to open a can of worms. She came here to work out her own shit, not take on mine.
“The circular one with the shuttered sides. You tensed up when we went past it.” Pink blooms in her cheeks and she looks away, as though she’s told me too much. Maybe she has. I hide a smile as I answer.
“That’s the island council building.”
“The council?”
“Yeah. The island is run like a collective. Every decision is decided by a council, plus everyone who lives here contributes financially, to keep things running well. Putting back into the community. It’s why we have a good medical centre, that kind of thing.”
“Sounds like a pretty sensible way to live.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. I do, actually.” She sounds stung.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
