Page 124 of A Beastologist's Field Notes of Fated Affection
I looked at Liam…and unloaded. “This never would have happened if you hadn’t shown up and surprised me.”
“Wait…what?” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t…” He stumbled for what to say.
“I knew this would never work. You showed up out of nowhere right when I was in the middle of one of the biggest career opportunities in my life and I failed. Just like I failed on our expedition.”
His face fell. “What do you mean you knew this would never work? Are you talking about us?”
“Of course I’m talking about us!” I shouted. “I’m not like you. I will never be like you. They moved the time of my presentation and I never got the memo yesterday because I was here…with you…spending the whole day having sex like irresponsible teenagers instead of preparing at the office like I should have been.”
He didn’t say anything.
Tears streamed down my face as I continued, unable to stop. “Ever since I met you, my career has gone downhill. I can’t do this anymore.”
Hurt flashed in Liam’s eyes. “So your career is more important than this?”
“This? We don’t even know whatthisis! Because what is it truly? We randomly visit each other. Laugh and have fun. Have a lot of sex, and then don’t see each other again for weeks. That doesn’t constitute a relationship. And I can’t do it anymore. I have to focus. I have so much work to do now to get back to where I need to be.”
“Cerise…you’re angry. Calm down and let’s talk about it.”
I shook my head. “There’s nothing more to say. I need you to leave. Now.”
He looked like I’d slapped him and my heart broke at his expression. But I was lost, confused, angry. I didn’t know what to do, so I did what felt like the easiest thing. I pushed him away so I didn’t have to deal with it.
“Liam. Please. Get out.”
He took a step closer. “If you need to blame someone, blameme. That’s fine. But don’t push me away. This is what you do. You did it when we were rescued too. Any time you think this relationship is going to interfere with your carefully constructed academic life, you panic and run. Don’t run from me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Please…”
But I was too far gone and needed to be alone to figure this out. “Get out of my house, Liam.”
His expression went from hurt to angry as he let out a slow breath. Turning, he silently disappeared into the bedroom. I walked to the living room, and collapsed onto the couch, holding back the new wave of tears about to fall, trying to keep my resolve.
Minutes later, Liam emerged, looking at me with a mix of longing, pain and anger. He made it to the front door, turned the handle, then said quietly, “I guess I was wrong about you. You are exactly like your mother.”
Then, he was gone.
Chapter 40
Disowned
Liam
The door clicked shut and I leaned against the side of Cerise’s house, heart in my throat. I could hear her crying inside—deep, heartbreaking sobs—but I wasn’t brave enough to go back in there.
I was a fucking coward.
I had ruined everything, and Cerise was right. It was my fault. I kept her up too late, distracted her, pushed her too hard to just let go…to the point where she missed out on something she was invested in. And even though, deep down, I knew her heart wasn’t really in academia the way it used to be, she had to be the one to figure that out on her own.
But me causing her to miss her presentation would not help the situation.
“Fuck!” I shouted, gripping the strap of my bag.
I never should have made that comment about her being like her mother. It wasn’t true. She wasn’t like her at all. I was just hurt and scared and angry.
An idiot. A fool.
And now the woman I loved wanted nothing to do with me.
I desperately wanted to go back inside and apologize. Wrap her in my arms and hold her as she cried, assuring her everythingwas going to be all right. Then again, a part of me wanted to shout at her for being so short-sighted, for letting her drive affect our relationship. To shake her and say, “Can’t you see how happy you are when we’re together? How happy you make me? Can’t you see I would do anything for you?”
