Page 90 of The Grump I Married
“I love you, honey,” Tess tossed over her shoulder. “But your palate is like cardboard. I need good caffeine.”
Cole came to the door, six feet of smiling cowboy. “You said you liked my coffee.”
“I lied,” Tess said, smiling back at him. “But I likeyou.”
“Suppose I’ll settle for that.” He tilted his head, eyeing me. “Don’t let her boss you around, Lena.”
Tess snorted. “I’ve been bossing her around since second grade. That’s not about to change now.”
I got to my feet, realizing how true that was. Tess snagged me by the arm, half dragging me down the porch steps to her car. Tess drove us to a place called Oats and Goats, insisting they had the best honey and cinnamon oat milk latte. I didn’t know if I was in the right mood to appreciate such a drink, but I let Tess tug me along toward the counter.
There was a small line, and it moved alarmingly slowly. When the man in front of us finally grabbed his drinks to go, I almost cheered. But the moment he spun around, my jaw dropped.
His eyes landed on me, widening as he staggered to a stop. Ice rattled in his cups. “Lena?”
“Hi Derek,” I said, that name conjuring up a wave of uncomfortable nostalgia. I wondered suddenly how horrible it would be if I simply turned around and walked out the door. What was it about exes showing up in coffee shops?
“You’re here,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean, you’re back?”
“Just temporarily,” I explained, the suffocating awkwardness engulfing us.
“She’s visiting me!” Tess cut in.
“Right,” Derek said. “Yeah, of course.”
“Anyway,” Tess gestured to the counter, “I’m just gonna order those drinks. You two…carry on or whatever.” She slipped away, giving me an apologetic shrug behind Derek’s back as she went up to place our orders.
I was going to kill her. But first I had to survive a reunion with my first-ever ex while I was busy missing my latest ex. Maybe I should have just stayed in Houston and eaten my weight inbeignets, but then there was the chance I’d run into Narissa again.
“I saw that you and Natalie just had a new baby,” I said, zeroing in on the first thing I could think to say. “Congratulations!”
“Er, thank you,” he said. “Yeah, it’s, uh…definitely a full house now.” He laughed a bit, the sound hollow as he looked at me, the expression on his face shifting as we stepped aside so as not to be in the way of the line. “I’m sorry, Lena.”
“For what?” I said.
“I just…I’ve owed you an apology for years,” he said, sighing. “But I didn’t have the courage to offer it back then.”
“Derek,” I started, an old ache burning in my chest. I beat back the flashes of memory. “You didn’t cause that accident on purpose.”
“No, I know.” His frown deepened. “But I felt so guilty after, especially when I realized how serious your injuries were—that you wouldn’t be able to have children the way you always planned.” He squeezed the drink in his hand so hard the plastic made a popping sound. “That was my fault. I took that away from you, and I felt guilty every time I looked at you. So I pulled away.”
“That’s why you broke up with me?” I said, stunned by the confession. I wanted to grab him and shake him to make sure this moment was real. “Not because I couldn’t have children, but because you felt like it wasyourfault?”
He nodded. “Of course. It was cowardly of me to run from the problem rather than putting in the workwithyou to move past it, but I was a dumb, guilt-stricken kid who didn’t know how totell you the truth, which was why I lied. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was so focused on avoiding pain for myself that I didn’t put enough thought into what I said.”
I nodded dumbly. “Thank you,” I said. “For what it’s worth, I don’t blame you for the wreck.” The accident, as horrible as it was, was just that. Anaccident. “So you should probably stop blaming yourself.”
The corner of his mouth quirked, and he nodded. “I’ll give it a try. See you around, Lena?”
“Yeah, see you.”
I watched him walk out the door like I was staring at a memory. But at least it was a memory that now hurt a little bit less than it had yesterday. Tess came up beside me, drinks in hand. “What the hell was that all about?”
“Let’s get out of here,” I said, head still reeling. “I need to process.” And I wasn’t going to risk another public conversation that would end up on social media.
We made our way outside, forgoing the car and heading to a nearby park instead. We started walking, wandering the gravel paths as I slurped my drink—which was delicious—and mentally replayed what Derek had said.
“I can’t tell if you love it or hate it,” Tess said in regard to my latte. “Your forehead is all wrinkled.”
