Page 100 of The Grump I Married
“Because you wanted to talk, I hope? That’s what I want.” His hand moved to reach for me, but I turned inward, crossing my arms against my chest.
“So talk,” I said. “Tell me what I’m doing here.”
“You read the article?”
I nodded slowly. “Yep. You’re settling here, you’re changing lives, you’re…doing some wonderful things for this town.”
“And they’d only be more wonderful with you by my side,” he insisted.
I licked my lips. “As what? Your live-in assistant? Because I’m not interested in that role anymore.”
“That’s not what I need,” he said, a growl in his voice. “I need you. Not because you were my assistant, not because you were my wife, but because you’reyou. You’re my person.”
A bubble of disbelief shot up my throat. It spilled out as a laugh. “If I was really your person, you never would have pushed me away after the festival.”
His face fell. “There’s nothing I can do but apologize for that, Lena.” He reached out again, but I held back.
“I’m not sure you actually know what you’re sorry for.”
“I do now,” he promised. “I didn’t back then, when I sent you the keys to the suite in New Orleans. I thought that all I needed to apologize for was hurting your feelings. For being harsh with you that night. But I know better now. That wasn’t what I really needed to apologize for.”
“Then what is?” I asked, my heart racing so fast I could feel it at the base of my throat.
“You deserve an apology because I wasafraidto love you,” he said. “I was afraid of the depth of my feelings and of being hurt the way my parents hurt each other. You had every right to privacy about your medical history—but hearing that you’d kept something major from me came as a shock because it made me realize just how completely I’d let you in, how much you knew about everything to do with me. And that was enough to make me panic. Pulling back from the relationship was easier than confronting how terrified I was of loving you completely. That fear turned me into the worst version of myself. When you shared the most vulnerable part of yourself, instead of giving you the understanding and support that you deserved, I failed you.”
I swallowed hard, biting down to keep my jaw from trembling. Hehadfailed me, when all I’d wanted was for him to understand that. For him to want me enough to fix it.
“I’m sorry for pushing you away,” he continued, “and for not letting myself love you the way you deserved. More than that, I’m sorry you had to wait around for me to figure all this out.”
A few tears slipped free. I swiped at them. Weston reached for me again, catching me by the elbow. This time I let him tug me closer.
“My heart still beats for you, Lena. It will only ever be you.”
“How can it be if you don’t trust me?”
“Idotrust you,” he said, catching my face between his hands. “For years, you’ve been one of the few people in my life Icouldtrust. I shut my eyes to that because I was scared and defensive and a right bloody asshole, but I’m through hiding from my feelings. I trust you, I love you, and all I want is a chance to make up for the way I hurt you. I’m trying to be someone worthy of you now. Someone capable of loving you as hard and as deeply as you deserve. Do you think you could want that with me again?”
I flattened my lips together, trying to keep the trembling at bay, nodding. I did want that. “Yes,” I whispered.
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry I made you feel like you weren’t whole or worthy or anything but perfect. Because you are, Lena. You’re perfect. For me. For Lochbrae. For the life I want to build here with you.”
“So not being able to have kids,” I said, hesitating a moment. “You’re…okay with that?”
“I loveyou, Lena,” he said, his words warm against my cheek. My heart beat for him, my blood singing for his touch. “And I want a future with you, regardless of what that looks like. If you, Milo, and Bonnie are my whole family, that’ll be fine with me. Ifyou want kids, we’ll figure out a way to have them because that’s important to you, and what’s important to you matters to me. If motherhood is your dream, then I want nothing more than to help you achieve that. Whether you carry children or not doesn’t matter to me.”
His lips hovered near mine, but I still had more questions. “Did you really mean what you said in the article about fostering?”
He pulled back enough to look me in the eye. “Yes. If that’s something you’d be interested in, we can talk about it. I think you’d make a wonderful mother, and I could only ever hope to be half the parent you are.”
“And you won’t mind raising kids that aren’t biologically yours?”
“Not at all, as long as you’re by my side through it all. Because what does legacy matter if you’re not surrounded by the people you care about most in the world?”
“I love you,” I whispered, sinking further into his arms. “And we’ll discuss the Bonnie of it all.”
He grinned at me like I’d just given him the best gift in the world. “Does this mean I’m getting another chance?”
“I think it does,” I said.
