Page 22 of Ice Cold Chemistry
Dana is quiet for a long moment. I can see her processing, weighing options. “What do you suggest?” she asks finally.
“I’ll handle it.”
“How?”
This is the stupid part. The part where I say words out loud and can’t take them back.
“By pretending to be her boyfriend until they back off.”
Silence.
Dana stares at me.
Then she laughs.
It’s not a polite laugh. It’s a genuine, caught-off-guard, did-you-really-just-say-that laugh. She presses a hand to her mouth, but it doesn’t help.
“I’m sorry,” she manages. “I’m sorry, I just—you? A boyfriend?”
“Fake boyfriend.”
“That doesn’t make it less funny.”
I wait. I’m good at waiting.
She finally composes herself, wiping her eyes. “Okay. I’m sorry. That was unprofessional.” She takes a breath. “You’re serious.”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“You never look like you’re joking, Banks. That’s the problem.” She studies me for another long moment. “Explain the logic.”
“The guys back off when something’s claimed. That’s just how it works—someone puts their name on food in the fridge, no one touches it. Same principle. If they think she’s with me, they won’t touch her. They might not even look at her wrong.”
“Because they’re scared of you.”
I lift one shoulder. “Because they’re not stupid.”
Dana drums her fingers on the desk, thinking. “It’s unconventional.”
I lift one shoulder. “It’s practical.”
“It could blow up spectacularly.”
“It’ll work.”
She sighs, rubbing her temples. “Banks, I appreciate you bringing this to me. I do. The situation with Miss Garrett is… concerning. But I can’t officially sanction some kind of fake relationship scheme. If it got out—”
“It won’t get out. The only people who need to know it’s fake are you, me, and her.”
Dana leans back in her chair, staring at the ceiling like she’s asking for divine guidance. “This is insane.”
“Probably.”
“This is the kind of thing that ends up in HR training videos as an example of whatnotto do.”
“Also probably.”
She looks at me. Really looks, like she’s trying to figure out what my angle is. I don’t have an angle. I don’t do angles. I just want the team to stop being idiots and the yoga instructor to stop looking like she’s about to cry.
