Page 23 of The Grump Next Door
I think it could be magical to have a couple of small goats wandering the cocktail lawn—very curated natural energy. The photo ops would be incredible. Plus, the bride is a chefand very farm-to-table. Let me know if this is something you’d consider!
She never replied. Never confirmed.
And yet.
I look at the goat, who is now trying to wedge his face into one of the porch planters.
“Did she just… drop you off?”
He sneezes dramatically and resumes eating a flower.
“This is not happening.” I run a hand down my face. “You’re my goat. I manifested a goat.”
He knocks over the planter with his hoof.
They were supposed to be a couple of them, and they were supposed to becute,minigoats.
I crouch, careful not to spook him. “Okay. I can fix this. Maybe you’re temporary. Maybe you’re just visiting. A loaner goat.”
He headbutts the side of my tote bag.
“No? Not a loaner? Just… casually committing to chaos, are we?”
He makes a low, satisfied noise and sits in the middle of the porch like a guest waiting for dinner.
I stare at him.
“I cannot believe I accidentally ordered a goat.”
Chapter Six
George
Dean
All I want is ten quiet minutes.
Ten minutes to loosen my tie, take off my shoes, and maybe—if the universe is feeling generous—drink something that isn’t lukewarm coffee from a travel mug that’s been living in my car since Monday.
Instead, I pull into the driveway and immediately slam on the brakes.
There’s a goat in the driveway.
A goat.
Standing like some sort of smug, four-legged patrol. Head high. Beard twitching. Creepy yellow eyes locked on me as if this ishisproperty now.
And just behind him, chaos.
Poppy is in the middle of the lawn—barefoot, muddy, one arm streaked with what I hope is dirt—holding a broom. Her hair is half up, half frizz, her sundress clinging to one side of her thigh like it lost a fight with a sprinkler, and she isyelling.
At the goat.
Which is currently standing on top of a folding chair.
I park. Slowly. Like I’m defusing a bomb.
I get out and take three steps before my brain catches up with what my eyes are seeing.
