Page 36 of Seasons of War
By the time they stopped for the night, Kira looked ready to fall asleep standing up. Dr. Cooper left her with the nurses and met them in the observation room.
“Don't try running off, Zayne,” Dr. Cooper said. “Let's take a stroll.”
He groaned openly and walked with the doctor into the hall. Zayne had come here many times through the years, forced to endure follow-up treatment as a boy and trauma work after his time in the North. It never got easier returning. The corners of every room crawled with shadows of days he didn't fully remember.
“I've known you for a long time.” Dr. Cooper spoke in that annoyingly slow voice. “Still, you shocked me today. It isn't like you to interfere. I can't fathom that you told her about the reprogramming.”
They walked a dangerous path together. Dr. Cooper was questioning him now. “She's stubborn. I take my duty seriously. She needed to know, so she didn't develop any delusions about resistance.”
Dr. Cooper scrutinized him. “You truly care about her.”
“You think it's a problem.”
“No. I think it gives you a genuine bond. She reacts every time I say your name. While she said you're an asshole, I sense something more.” Dr. Cooper clasped his hands behind his back as they walked. “My concern is with your recent loss.”
This man had spent too much time playing around in his head. Pain gripped his chest more deeply than he expected. “I'm accustomed to loss. I'll manage just fine.”
“No one becomes accustomed to loss. Desensitized, yes. That's not the same thing. Are you sleeping at night? That's always been a warning sign for you in the past.”
“I'm sleeping well enough.”
“Any nightmares?”
Zayne stopped and faced him. His feelings for the man were no secret, and he never felt obligated to hide them. “Am I being ordered to discuss this with you?”
“Must you require orders to seek treatment? You made such a big step today. Let's not backslide.”
“Your treatment isn't necessary.”
“You're slipping.” Dr. Cooper scrutinized him like he had the computer screen with Kira's vitals and brain waves. “This mission will put stress on you that I worry you can't handle in your current state.”
“The Phaedra is confident in me.”
“He is. But what if I tell him I'm concerned?”
Zayne stepped closer to the doctor. “We've been at peace for a long time. Is this a battle you really want to fight?”
“Oh.” Dr. Cooper chuckled. “You're going to threaten me?”
“You're threatening me.”
“I'm your physician. It's my job to share my medical findings with the Phaedra. You're entrusted with important responsibilities.”
Smug bastard. “You said yourself that I'm doing well with the prisoner. So, leave me alone.”
Zayne chose not to visit Kira before heading to his room for bed. He'd done enough damage. Better for her to endure this night alone.
After forcing down dinner, he distracted himself with his evening exercise routine. Though he wasn't able to do his usual workouts yet, he managed some upper body exercises that didn't strain his leg. Brock may not agree, but his friend wasn't here to stop him, and he needed this. Needed to stop thinking while surrounded by nightmares in Dr. Cooper's clinic.
The physical exertion calmed his mind enough to focus on paperwork. A man from the cleaning crew dropped off tea for him, and Zayne drank it while he finished working on his laptop, until finally he tried to sleep.
He needed a break from this place.
But his thoughts betrayed him as he hung on the precipice between awake and asleep. Pops of memory swirled through his mind, vanishing as quickly as they came, so he didn't even know what haunted him. Zayne rolled over in bed, craving a late-night run, no matter how much it hurt his leg. If only Dr. Cooper didn't watch his clinic so closely.
His thoughts spun so fast that soon the entire room was spinning.
Terrible realization poured over him. This wasn't normal. His heart hammered like he'd gone for the run, and dizziness swept over him even though he lay down.
