Page 269 of Seasons of War
Zayne closed his eyes, giving in to the full-body burn of crawling beneath low fencing.
“Don't let them kill our girl.”
His family would survive, but not Kira, and not her friends. Not the Followers.
Whether Zayne stayed in Ciondo or left, he hurt people. Though he didn't know how to live with this weight out in the territories and couldn't imagine life beyond the Phaedra's grasp, he faced worse here.
Right now, Zayne would focus on the most important mission of his life because he could not fail Kira.
He searched his plan for vulnerabilities or holes, combed through remaining risks, and thought of any further action to improve Kira's odds of escape.
And there was only one significant decision he could make that he kept avoiding. He kept telling himself it was too wrong, that he never wanted to see Mellie again, and that she'd hide their fight.
That didn't change that she was a major liability. What if she sought him out to make up with him? What if she confided in anyone that he'd avoided her? He needed to be on his best behavior for the Phaedra and convince the emperor that he was dedicated to their agreement. Reducing suspicion as much as possible was imperative.
The best thing Zayne could do for Kira was to please the Phaedra and convince him of his surrender. Make him feel like he'd won. That he owned Zayne.
Once he finished his workout and showered, he cut himself off from guilt and disgust. Nothing mattered except Kira right now.
The entire trip to Mellie's house, he kept repeating the mission in his thoughts, convincing himself to take one step after the next.
She opened the door, surprise piquing her brows. Their life together weighed on his shoulders because he couldn't forget their little moments and how he really had cared for her. Still did, even though she horrified him so badly.
“I'm sorry, Mellie.” Zayne gripped the doorpost. “When my mom died, it made me think of everything I have to lose, and it scared me. So, I ran.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Oh, babe…”
“I don't want to wait on what matters most.” His body tried to revolt against him, but he endured and took her face in his hands. “Let's not wait. Not another night. Not another second.”
“Zayne.” Mellie dragged him close and kissed him, her mouth tasting bitter to him. “Yes, not one more night.”
Zayne expected guilt or doom to constrict his heart until it stopped beating. He never wanted to touch Mellie again. But now he'd kissed her throughout the night. Kissed her long and slow after they promised a lifetime together in front of the Phaedra and her parents and his father.
Watching Mellie and the Phaedra now, the two of them basking in the glow of taming him, he felt nothing except his determination to free Kira and destroy the Phaedra.
“I won't be able to sleep for days,” Mellie said with a giggle, holding her cheeks. “Oh, Phaedra, your generosity is too much.”
They finished their celebration in the Phaedra's personal study, and it was Mellie's first time in here. The Phaedra just informed her that he'd personally purchase her dream house for her and to choose any designer in the country at his expense.
While they stood and spoke, Zayne kneeled before his emperor. A military tattoo artist etched ink into a band on Zayne's left biceps to match the one on the right.
“I hope the mountain retreat will be just as wonderful,” the Phaedra said. “Zayne needs to take a break.”
Too bad he wasn't ever going to make it because he'd be gone by then. Mellie would travel to prepare for the honeymoon of their dreams, and then Zayne would leave forever. He was sure he'd feel terrible about it for the rest of his life, but he performed for the Phaedra now. And the emperor couldn't be more pleased.
“Yes! And being here for Zayne getting his officer's band, it's just a dream come true,” Mellie said.
“I've been impressed with Lieutenant Riven,” the Phaedra said. “Not only with his exceptional service, but with his commitment to family values. It's one of the most important traits of a High General. Your children will be so precious to the empire.”
“Death shows us what's most important.” Zayne allowed himself to feel his grief, so the Phaedra saw his suffering and believed his words. “I need Mellie. I need to make her happy.”
“Babe.” Mellie wiped her tears and knelt down to kiss the side of his face.
He'd completed his objective today by showing his commitment to Mellie and to the Phaedra's plan for him. While Zayne prepared to betray the Phaedra in only two days, he distracted the emperor with a mighty new Riven estate, a loyal wife, and discussion of children to control Zayne with. In exchange for Kira's life, he had promised a lifetime of service and to carry on the Riven dynasty with Mellie. That meant making a new future High General. A child born to one day fall into his father's trap as the Phaedra's most devoted servant.
How did Zayne ever believe he'd amount to anything except this while in the Phaedra's tower?
While Zayne knelt down in front of his emperor, the way he knelt for each seal and for the snake tattoos, he kept himself in check only with the thought of Kira.
