Page 248 of Seasons of War
“Yeah.” Fresh pain crashed into her. Even now, he couldn't let her near.
They sat against the fence beside each other, and Kira surrendered to the terrible pain consuming her.
Adelle loved her children so much. Seeing Zayne like this would torture her.
The longing to ease his suffering was a deeper yearning than she'd ever experienced. It was undeniable, like when they kissed, but full of so much more.
If not being able to rip off his mask once seemed torturous, then being unable to work into his heart was impossible. Her arms wanted to hold him. For a touch to ease his grief and soften his defenses and open him to her in the slightest.
This space between them hurt so badly.
She leaned against her arm and allowed the weight to push her hand closer to him, so her fingertips feathered against his. Trying once more to invite him in. Sparks danced along her skin, spreading up her arm. All she wanted was to hold him and help him carry that pain.
Without moving his head, Zayne's eyes shifted to their hands. Kira's heart started pounding because he let her touch him without pushing her away.
Until his fingers curled, tearing away the graze of skin against skin, his subtle shift as deafening as the Phaedra's bombs.
It didn't matter that he sat beside her. He was on the other side of the empire.
Unreachable.
Always unreachable.
Kira hid the cut of pain slicing through her heart. Hid from the embarrassment threatening to warm her cheeks. She'd only wanted to comfort him and show him compassion. It didn't mean anything else. Or it wasn't intended to mean anything else.
Why had she thought he'd let her come anywhere near him? A prison wall stood guard between. Didn't matter that they sat by one another.
But then, his fingers unfurled.
His touch kissed her skin, trailing the edge of her hand, drawing leisurely to the base of her palm, and ever so gently along her fingers.
Chills crisscrossed down her spine.
Whether it was fear or reverence he touched her with, she didn't know or care, not so long as he allowed her close.
His hand closed around hers, and they sat beside one another, stares on the sky, touch hidden from the camera. Keeping each other from falling.
Aching pain groaned against her throat and fought to free itself from her lips. It hurt that badly not to draw her arms around him and take his hurt for herself. But with the camera watching, they laced their fingers where it couldn't see, and Kira could not breathe.
Could not breathe.
“Is the news real?” She hadn't stopped crying since seeing the headline.
Zayne nodded.
She slid her thumb along his hand and shook with the tears she knew he needed to shed too.
“She went,” Kira whispered. “Didn't she?”
His gaze looked unfocused, like he wasn't present. Another nod.
Why did Adelle do it?
They needed her.
“I planned to comfort you when you found out…” Zayne paused longer than normal. “I'm sorry. I saw that look on your face…”
“You're in shock,” Kira said. “Don't fight it. You need it.”
