Page 28 of Out for Blood
“Killed it.”
He might have tried to laugh but it came out as a cough.
I sat on the edge of the bed, took his hand, and touched it to my cheek. “I was so scared I was going to lose you.”
He lifted his other hand and struggled to move the mask off his nose and mouth.
“Don’t… don’t do that,” I said, lifting a hand to put the mask back in place. “Please… you’re going to hurt yourself.”
But he wouldn’t have it. He shoved the mask aside and for the first time since the paper mill, I saw his whole face. He had more facial hair than usual and his skin still looked sallow, but I would have known his eyes — those brown eyes rimmed with amber — in the darkest of places.
“I heard you,” he croaked. “While I was out of it. I heard you.”
I blinked back my tears. “I’m glad. I wanted you to know I was here. Wanted you to know I love you.”
“You’re the beat of my fucking heart, Cass.” He squeezed my hand. “It’s you and only you.”
I lay my head on his chest and cried.
14
HAWK
It felt fuckinggood to stand on my own two feet without wires and tubes attached to my body. Felt good to wear jeans and a T-shirt instead of the hospital gown.
And it felt really fucking good to be conscious enough to see Cassie again.
“Sit down and I’ll help you with your boots,” Cassie said.
“I’m good.” I tried to crouch to put on my boots, then gasped at the pain that rocketed through my body from the burn on my side.
It didn’t help that I was still short of breath.
“Don’t be stubborn,” Cassie said, taking my arm and leading me to the hospital bed. “You’re going to end up back here if you can’t be sensible enough to accept help.”
I sat on the bed and lifted my foot, let Cassie ease it into one of my boots. “I hate this shit.”
“I know.” There was understanding in Cassie’s voice, and I knew shedidknow. This was how she must have felt when she’d been blinded by her accident on the mountain, only ten times worse because there was a whole lot of shit she hadn’t been able to do at first. “It’s really hard to accept help for basic things, butyou did it for me when I needed you. Now please let me return the favor, because I don’t think I can take any more close calls.”
I reached down to touch her silky copper hair and bit back a wince of pain. It was worth it to touch her but if she knew I was hurting she’d tell me to keep my hands to myself, and after everything that had happened, not touching Cassie was the last rule I wanted to follow.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
I barely remembered the days I’d been sedated after the explosion at the paper mill. There were flashes: light and sound and bursts of fear and pain.
But mostly the flashes were of Cassie: her sweet voice talking to me when I’d thought I was all alone in the dark, just like she’d been after her accident.
Her beautiful face swimming through the haze to meet me like a guardian angel.
The other stuff I’d had to hear from Vigo and Jagger. The way Cassie had demanded to see me when they’d said I couldn’t have visitors. The way she’d stayed by my side almost 24/7, sleeping next to my bed, getting the nurses when it seemed like I needed more pain meds, fighting for me when I hadn’t been able to fight for myself.
I didn’t want to put her through that again. Ever.
So I let her help me with the other boot and resolved to be a good patient, to get better so I could take care of her again instead of the other way around.
The door opened and Jagger poked his head into the room. He looked better than the last time I’d seen him when he’d looked like he’d spent six months in the wilderness without a razor.
Or a shower.
