Page 72 of Baby, You're My Weakness
“I don’t know,” I mumbled out, while she parked her car in the driveway. My eyes scanned over her body for bruises, and I knew that was just the sister in me. Even though I was still mad as hell.
“Baby, she has a black eye,” Jayda spoke frantically.
Narrowing mine, I leaned up to get a better look at her. Her eyes were black, her nose was busted, and she looked physically shook up.Somebody beat the shit out of my sister!
42
LOVE
A huge weightcame off my shoulders after that interaction with Lauren. I was sitting in the hospital feeling better than I had in days. We hadn’t spoken much in the last few hours, just been sitting here watching TV in silence. She changed positions, wincing in pain.
“How you feel, mama?” I extended my arm to touch her. She tapped my hand before pulling away.
“I’m okay baby. A little tired,” she replied, her voice weak.
“They told me your blood pressure was low,” I speculated, leaning back against the chair. My gaze shifted to her untouched food on the dinner tray. She didn’t eat it; said she lost her appetite from all the IV fluids.
“Yeah.” Her hands trembled. “I haven’t been taking care of myself.”
I wouldn’t lie, this was awkward. Me and mama didn’t talk like this, so I was surprised by her being so open. I figured if she’d talk to anybody about anything, it would be Valentine.
“It ain’t on you, mama. I’m supposed to look out for you,” I admitted, watching her shake her head.
“You not responsible for me, baby,” she protested. I wanted to speak up on it, but she silenced me.
“I need to apologize to you.” She sat up higher in the bed.
“No, you don’t mam—.” We needed to have this conversation, but it could wait until a better time.
“Yeah, I do.” She straightened the pillow behind her back before reaching over to grab my hand. “I’ve battled with schizophrenia since I was nineteen.”
“Huh?” I sat dumbfounded.
“Your father and I didn’t wanna tell you boys about this. We thought we had it under control.”
I was still reeling from the schizophrenia part. That would explain her mood swings and paranoia, however, out of all the shit, I would’ve never guessed that.
“Under control? Bullshit!” I snatched my hand back. “Mama, pops been gone for years. You don’t think that was something I needed to know about?” I spat. She took in the expression on my face, sighing.
“In hindsight, I should’ve handled it better. Your father was always good at making sure I took my medicine. I guess after he died, I let it spiral out of control.” Tears welled up in her eyes and, as much as I want to be mad at her for keeping secrets, I hated to see her like this.
“It’s okay, mama. Stop crying,” I proclaimed, grabbing her hand again.
Her grip was weak as she squeezed mine gently. “I’m so sorry for telling you to take the charge for your brother.”
My heart dropped in my chest, I almost forgot about that.
“Why did you?” I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
She let out a sigh. “You always believed I loved him more, but that’s so far from the truth baby.” I tried to move back further in my seat, but her hold on my hand was what kept me in place. “I love my baby but, since you were a little boy, you were always so much stronger than him.”
Shit, all that may have been true, but I still needed her just as much as he did.
“You are an amazing man, Love.” With a small smile, she dabbed her cheeks with the back of her hand. “So headstrong like your father. He would do anything to protect his family. I took my frustration and anger out on you because you reminded me so much of him. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
I never thought I’d see the day when mama apologized. I was not making excuses for her but, from her point of view and now knowing her condition, I could understand some of her actions.
“Yeah, ma.” She let out a sigh of relief, releasing my hand. “I want you to take your medicine and see a therapist. Me and Valentine still need you.”
