Page 23 of Dom 5: The Finale
I frowned a little. “Nothing.”
“O’Shynn.”
“Nothing.” I snapped.
“You always say ‘nothing’ when something wrong.” She read me not backing down.
I looked down at the desk and started playing with one of my rings. “It’s Malik,” I admitted finally. There was a brief pause and then Carmen laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because you finally admitting it.”
“Admitting what?” I smiled.
“That you care.” She replied.
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. “Please.”
“No, seriously,” she said. “You care about him and that’s okay.”
I tried to deflect. “I never said I didn’t.”
“You didn’t have to.” She shot back.
I sighed and leaned my head back against the chair. “He ignoring me,” I mumbled.
“Well…”
“Well, what?”
“You did put him out the car like he was an Uber driver. Yeah I may have been out of it, but when you came here the other day, I heard you on the phone talking about it.”
I felt bad. “That is not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”
I shook my head. “You know why I did it,” I said after a second.
“Oh, trust me, I know.” She retorted, because she did know… she knew exactly why. Same reason Dom used to keep pushing her away. It was fear, not fear of love. Fear of what comes with loving somebody when your life looked like ours.
“Do you know what it feels like,” I asked quietly, “to actually like somebody and all you can think about is them getting caught in your mess?”
Carmen was quiet for a second before answering. “Yeah,” she told me. “I do.”
I looked down at my nails. “I keep thinking about what happened to you,” I admitted. “And all I can think is what if that happened to him because of me? What if somebody trying to get to Dom can’t get to Dom so they use me? What if they use Malik?”
Carmen didn’t answer right away. When she finally did, her voice was softer than before. “O’Shynn, that can happen whether you love him or not.” That made me get quiet because that was the part I didn’t want to think about. “You pushing him away don’t make him safer,” she continued. “It just make both of y’all miserable.”
I closed my eyes for a second. “You sound annoying,” I sighed.
“And you sound in love.”
“I’m not in love.” I frowned.
“Mhm.”
“I’m serious Carmen.”
