Page 94 of Duplicitous
His hand is gentle in my hair again, but his eyes flash. “You wouldn’t hurt someone if they didn’t deserve it. What did he do?”
“He…found me in the woods one night.”
I can’t talk about Brandon’s betrayal, how he told Carter where to find me. How he planned to share me.
Even after all this time, it’s still a knife in my heart.
Rand’s hand remains careful on my scalp, soothing. But he gnashes his teeth, clearly enraged on my behalf.
“Tell me what Carter did,” he growls.
“He wanted to…” I swallow against the burn at the back of my throat. “He hurt me.”
“Did he touch you?” The words are so rough they’re barely intelligible.
My hands are shaking, so I curve my fingers into his corded arms to ground myself to him.
“He did,” I whisper. “But I made him stop. I killed him. I didn’t mean to.”
I echo the pathetic excuse that’s been ringing through my head for five years, ever since I murdered the boy I loved.
Brandon’s name sticks in my throat. I can’t tell anyone about what I did to him.
“I’m a murderer.”
Strong fingers thread through my hair, gripping just tight enough to tip my head back.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You defended yourself. That sick fucker, Carter, violated you. The world is a better place without him in it. You’re safer without him.”
Maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t absolve me.
“I’m poison to the people closest to me.” I barely breathe the harsh truth through the sharp pain in my chest.
“Not me,” Rand insists. “There’s nothing you could do that would make me walk away.”
“Why?” I ask, almost pleading with him. He’s not seeing reason. “We’ve only just met.”
He rubs his thumb over my mouth, and despite my pain, my lips tingle with desire for his possessive touch.
“Let me know you.” Maybe he’s the one pleading now. “Stop finding reasons to deny us.”
“I’ve just told you that I killed a boy.” I’m wavering. I can’t waver. “Doesn’t that scare you?”
“The only thing I’m scared of is losing you. You want to know why I’m desperate for you? We’re alike, Lena.”
My heart twists.
“Because we’re both orphans?”
His eyes tighten with his own pain. “You’re not the only one who’s killed to survive.”
I should be shocked by the revelation, but I’m not. Deep down, I’ve sensed that Rand is capable of killing to defend me. I’ve known it ever since he ran to meet me on the river path to protect me from my stalker.
He holds me closer, as though he’s afraid I’ll recoil from him. “Are you scared of me now?”
“No,” I promise, tentatively running my fingers through his hair in return.
He leans into the tender touch on a deep inhale, as though he’s breathing me in.
