Page 37 of Never Without You
Trask catches me up on his family, and is allabout missing me at Thanksgiving, and how it’ll suck not to be withme on Christmas.
More of the same from my mother, along withdetailed interior decorating changes that are in line with her newdesign aesthetic.
Flower’s missive is the longest letter I’veever received in my life, and I go slow, reading every word likethey hold the secret to life. And, in a way, they do. They’re hergift to me when I can’t be where I should be, with her. They’re apart of her I get to savor in the absence of holding her in my armswhile we watch a movie lying on the couch.
I’m not even on the second sentence and thewords on the page turn into her voice in my head. God, I love hervoice. Sexy, sultry, and throaty. Now I’m hard as tungsten steel,and I have to deep breathe for a couple of minutes to get my shittogether.
No lie, this sucks in a way I’ve neverexperienced. It’s a sunny Saturday, and everyone is out shoppingfor the holidays. Christmas trees and giant menorahs with screw-inbulbs instead of candles glow from almost every house in theneighborhood. To make sure we look like we belong here, I bought adoor wreath today from Trader Joe’s, and last weekend I strungthose tiny white lights around the front door.
I hate that I’m not hanging lights onTheresa’s and my home. That we don’t have a tree lit up in ourfront window. That I’m not listening to her tell me about what shebought for which family member and why. That I’m not eating what Iknow is one of her fuckin’ spectacular cupcakes right now.
If I don’t calm down, I’m going to dosomething stupid. I close my eyes, picture her beautiful face, andstart the letter over again.
Jesus, the woman is trying to kill me talkingabout blowjobs. I refuse to conjure that image in my head for fearI’ll get in the car and drive straight to her house.
I keep reading, and decide one day I’ll gether to tell me the long story about her cousin Max, who Flowerclearly adores.
Thanksgiving sounds whacked. I’m not a fan ofher mother’s. I’m with Baz. She needs to take a look at what she’sgot and get her head out of her ass. The sister and husband soundcool, and now I know who the rock star is. He’s not fairlywell-known, he’s an international superstar who drives an SUV thatcosts a quarter mil. He and Andie are definitely cool. I’ve seenpictures of her when a story about Lars was in the news. Flower wasright. Andie does have the body of a Vegas headline stripper. Thewoman’s a knockout.
I didn’t miss the invite to meet Flower inNYC. I wouldn’t go to the show, although I’m sure I’d enjoy it, butunder no circumstances is anyone going to see me with her and herfamily. Too dangerous right now. I can’t fucking wait until that’snot the case.
I’ll have to think about whether I can find away to meet her at a hotel.
What does it say about me that I’m jealous ofBoo ’cause he gets to sleep with my woman?
Hey babe,
Just mentioning, incentivizing throughreward works for me too. And if you’d like, I’ll be happy to cussout your mother to earn extra rewards.
Glad Thanksgiving ended on a high note. Yoursister and her husband sound solid. It’s encouraging to hearthey’re still “connected” after all the time they been together.I’m hoping the trait runs in the family.
I looked up that kickass SUV, and you’reright, there’s nothing like it. A giant toy for the rock star whohas everything.
Let me know how the vid Frisbee lessons go.I have a feeling Boo will enjoy it once you get the hang of it.Sounds like he has a “special” friend in Eloise.
I’m guessing by now Max has chilled and ishandling her new relationship. She’s lucky to have you to smoothout the edges. I know how that feels. Sometimes, and I’m bettingyou don’t know you’re doing it, you say the exact right thing tomake me feel better. I’m sure your skills have been honed by yourprofession, but that’s simply a case of polishing the raw material.You have that in you, the ability to make people feel better aboutthemselves.
Enjoy Andie’s show. I’m sure it will begreat.
I don’t want to miss saying this on time.Merry Christmas, baby. You’re the best present a man could everwant or need. Next year, I promise. I’ll make it up to you.
Ross
Dutchford, CT
Theresa
Nowhere Near Enough
Max has taken a powder. I call her the Mondayafter my spa day turned into a sleep-a-thon spa weekend. I want todiscuss what I’d learned about who owns the company my dad manages,and what that might mean about the brothers’ breakup. Max doesn’tanswer. Over the next few days, I call her fifteen times. I run herto ground. I dig deep, but she’s nowhere to be found. I call thesalon where she works, and all her boss, an eccentric woman namedBernadette, knows is that Max called in and said she needed anemergency vacation, and she’d be back in a week. Lola can’t reachher and she’s freaking out, which, in the middle of Lola’snausea-filled pregnancy, is not a good thing. Ziggy doesn’t knowwhere Max is, but Ziggy only cares where Max is when Ziggy needsMax, and right now, Ziggy is still pissed at Max. And me. She hungup on me after telling me, “You and Max can fuck right off.”
Charming as always.
After Lola and I talk, she calls her husband,the new lieutenant at the Redwood Falls police department, and askshim if he could put out an APB for Max’s car. She calls me back andshares that he told her there was no reason to do that because Maxhad called her boss and said she was taking an emergency vacation.There’s nothing to indicate foul play.
That statement put Lola into action, and sheuses her key to let herself into Max’s apartment, which is inLola’s words, “Neat and tidy until I hit the bedroom, where itlooked like a category five tornado had rolled through.”
I know what this is about. Max is runningaway from that guy who she’s fallen for. I ask Lola if she knowswho the guy is, and Lola says, “I didn’t know she was seeinganyone. She never said a word.”
