Page 19 of Timeless
The moment my feet touched the carpeted floor of my bedroom, my world flipped upside down. I had zero clue that that moment would mark the end of one life and the beginning of another, erasing my entire existence in the blink of an eye.
Lies had shaped everything I thought I knew, and my world fell apart.
Leaving Sutton River behind still felt like yesterday; thewound was too fresh and very real as the memory had haunted me every day since. It shattered me in more ways than one.
I still couldn’t comprehend how I went through with it—leaving.
It was an impossible situation, and in the end, I chose to go with my parents out of my undying love for Jaxon. The kind of love that meant letting go when every part of you desperately wanted to hold on.
In the years that followed, I moved through life like a dark shadow of the person I once was, going through the motions, breathing on autopilot, just trying to make it through each day without succumbing to my grief. I was an empty shell carrying memories I couldn’t bear to let go of and pain I didn’t know how to heal.
The only reprieve that came from all the mental anguish I carried was when I graduated from nursing school. While it was a quiet victory, it was equally meaningful. I held the memory of Jaxon close in my heart, and despite everything, I chose to believe he would’ve been proud that I’d followed through and built something from the pieces I had left.
But that moment of pride was short-lived.
Not long after, a car accident ripped away what remained of my world and sent me into months of rehab. I tried therapy to help with my grief, but the emotional exhaustion and feeling physically broken eventually became too much. That was when I made another, almost crippling mistake. I let someone into my life who saw my fragility not as something to care for, but as something to use against me. The pain I carried, combined with the sudden comfort of a shoulder to lean on, kept me from noticing the warning signs. I was too tired to question their intentions.
My ex-boyfriend, Aiden, had not only embarrassed and humiliated me, but he’d left me paranoid of my surroundings. The feeling of having to walk through the rest of your life with your head down was isolating. Not only was I not comfortable in my own skin, but it was often debilitating to be out in public. Constantly feeling anxious, waiting for the other shoe to drop, was like a silent countdown looming over me. A fragile reminder that the inevitable was near.
While I had felt safe with Jaxon, that didn’t mean I could let my guard down. Because of that, I knew I had to turn down his offer to let me stay with him until my condo was ready for me to move back into. I just hoped he’d understand because the last thing I wanted to do was bring my baggage to his doorstep.
Chapter Six
Jaxon
It had only been a week since Lily had come crashing back into my life, tearing open old wounds and reminding me why they’d never healed in the first place. I’d barely had time to catch my breath before she slipped through my fingers all over again. I knew taking her to the lake was a gamble, but I genuinely thought it would help her realize that not all was lost between us, that it would mean something to her.
Buying that particular plot of land and building that home was my way of holding on to our past and what we shared. I harbored no regrets when it came to holding on to her memory; the only thing I wished I’d done differently was not leaving her alone with her thoughts on the dock because by the time I joined her, she’d completely shut down on me.
So it wasn’t a surprise when we arrived back at my place that she promptly left for Arizona’s. As much as I wanted to protest and convince her otherwise, I willingly let her walk out the door because I knew it was what she needed at that moment. I knewshe needed time and space to process her feelings, even if it tore me apart to let her go.
It gutted me that she was suffering, possibly even hiding from whatever tore her away from me all those years ago. I wasn’t the type to hold grudges, save where my twin was concerned, apparently.
Jameson had been relentless with his texts, trying to get me to talk. Even my parents shared their two cents, but I wasn’t having it.
The only person I mentally had space for was Lily.
She breathed life back into me and quickly consumed my every waking thought.
Arizona, who was caught in the middle, torn between her loyalty to her best friend and her new role as my sister-in-law, meant the lines blurred even further. But I didn’t expect her to break her friend’s confidence. I’d never.
Arizona, though, eased my worries by letting me know she and Jameson helped Lily gather her personal belongings from her condo and move them into Ari’s old place. Pete had replaced the temporary spare tire on Lily’s car. So I felt an air of reassurance that she was safe and settling in nicely, which, at the end of the day, was all that mattered.
It also lifted my spirits, even if only slightly, to know she was still close by and that it might provide an opening for us to rekindle our friendship if I played my cards right.
Beyond that, though, I was in the dark.
I was out of my element, and if I couldn’t talk to her about the storm in my chest, I knew there was only one person who might understand the mess in my head. My brother. That’s why I showed up on his doorstep with a twelve-pack in hand—not as apeace offering but looking for a lifeline. I didn’t have the right words, or maybe any at all. But I needed to be near someone who knew me inside and out, who understood everything I didn’t say, just by looking at me. And that had always been my other half.
When he opened the door, I hated that he looked nearly as bad as I did. Tired as fuck, dark circles under his eyes, hair askew, and slumming it in a ripped pair of green hospital pants that had seen better days, and a sleeveless black shirt.
Jameson wasted no time in pulling me into a tight hug. The comfort said so much, and I kicked myself mentally for not having come over sooner.
“I’m so fucking thankful you’re here. It killed me to give you space, man.”
“Sorry about that.” I clapped him on the back before stepping inside and following him into the kitchen.
“No need, I’m the one who should be sorry for not saying anything when I first saw Lily back when Dustin was hospitalized after the fire. It honestly was a—I just can’t believe it slipped my mind. You have to know I’d never intentionally hurt you. I know how much she meant to you.”
