Page 10 of Not Safe for Work
The shrill sound of the doorbell jostled me out of my daze. Reluctantly, I peeled the covers and stumbled out of bed. Itrang three more times before I could cross the distance between my room and the main door. Classic Sarita didi. She liked to announce her arrival as loudly and impatiently as possible.
I rubbed my eyes and tugged on my oversized t-shirt as I opened the door to find her standing on the other side, hands on her hips.
‘What took you so long? You’ll get me late,’ she scolded, rushing past me and into the kitchen.
Sarita didi was always in a hurry. She worked in several houses in my bachelor-dominated building, so time was not a luxury she could afford. Everyone wanted their floors mopped and tiffins packed before they left for work, which meant she had to work at a supersonic speed to make it happen.
‘Can you make kadhi chawal today?’ I asked, following her into the kitchen. She looked at me like I had a screw loose somewhere.
‘What, you expect me to be here all day?’ She scoffed as she opened the refrigerator. ‘Besides, you don’t have any curd.’
It was my flatmate Nikita’s turn to buy the groceries, which basically meant that I would send her reminders all week, before giving up and stocking the fridge myself over the weekend. Seeing the disappointed look on my face, didi promised to make kadhi chawal for me on Sunday. For today, I’d have to make do with aloo parathas. I was about to make my way back to my room when my flatmate walked out of hers, dressed in yoga pants and a bright pink tank top.
‘Oh, you’re up early,’ I said, cocking my head in surprise.
‘Nah babe, haven’t gone to sleep yet,’ she said, picking up a banana from the kitchen shelf. ‘Will crash after the gym.’
Nikita and I had been living together for the last six months, but we weren’t exactly friends. It was hard to find common ground with her, considering we led such different lifestyles. She was an actor and had moved to Mumbai to ‘struggle’,although she barely ever went for auditions. Instead, she spent her weeknights binge-watching Netflix in the living room and her weekends partying in the same overcrowded bar in our neighbourhood. She’d invited me out once or twice, but had soon realized that I was a) boring and b) fundamentally against paying ?2000 cover charges just to get hit on by douchebags and yell over bad EDM.
‘That makes more sense,’ I muttered, mostly to myself, then added, ‘can you pick up groceries on your way back, please?’
She gave me a thumbs up as she walked towards the door, her head buried in her phone. I shook my head. She was 100 per cent going to forget again. But I had more important things to stress about. Like, what the hell I was going to say to Neil today. The stakes were higher than ever, and I wasn’t about to let a little thing likethe truthruin my career. Thankfully, I had a moment of panic-induced clarity while showering. I then went on to devise a foolproof three-part plan.
Step 1, Dominate:Don’t wait for Neil to ask you questions. Walk in with your head held high and take charge of the conversation. How washisexperience at NYU? Where didhelike to hangout? Did he ever go to that karaoke bar down the street?
Step 2, Deflect:If Neil gets too close to the truth, don’t panic. Simply steer the conversation in a new direction: ‘Speaking of NYU … I just realized I haven’t had a decent bagel in ages. Do you know where I can get one in Mumbai?’
Step 3, Dramatize:In the unfortunate event that he shoots out an accusation, respond with absolute disbelief. The key here is to sound so genuinely shocked, so completely outraged, that he’ll think twice about pushing further. The more incredulousand offended you appear, the faster he’ll backtrack in embarrassment.
By the time I reached the office, I had convinced myself that the plan would work. Ithadto work. I mean, I couldn’t imagine the catastrophe of getting caught. The sheer humiliation. I’d get fired from my job, shunned by society and be reduced to a cautionary tale in corporate gossip circles.
Would my parents disown me? Probably. Would I have to change my name and start a new life in a remote Himalayan monastery? A distinct possibility. I wasn’t built for a nunnery—I could barely get through a day without Wi-Fi—but if it came down to that or facing the fallout, I’d have no choice.
No, Kavya. Focus.
None of that would happen because the plan was solid. Three simple steps. Dominate, deflect, dramatize. I just had to execute it all flawlessly. Easy enough.
I got fifteen minutes of peace before Neil strolled in, looking like he’d stepped straight out of aGQfashion spread. He wore a fitted navy button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms, paired with dark jeans and sneakers so white that they had to be fresh out of the box. He carried two Starbucks cups, his laptop bag slung effortlessly over his shoulder.
He gave me a small smile as he crossed the empty office and reached our bay. ‘Morning, boss,’ he said, first setting one coffee cup and then his laptop bag on his desk.
A muscle in my jaw twitched. ‘Just Kavya, please,’ I said, looking up at him.
He shrugged and slid the cup of coffee towards me.
I looked at it in confusion. ‘Uh … thanks. But you didn’t have to.’
‘Just thought you might need it today,’ he said, nonchalantly.
I stared at the cup, my mind racing.What did he mean by that? Was he implying something? Does he know I’ve barely slept?
Before I could gather my thoughts, he cut through the silence. ‘I emailed you the resized images yesterday, by the way,’ he said, flipping open his laptop. ‘I was going to show them to you, but you’d already left by the time I came back from Varun’s cabin.’
‘Oh, thanks,’ I said, before adding, ‘I, uh, had to be somewhere.’
He nodded at me and then turned his attention to his laptop without another word. I swallowed, my eyes darting towards him nervously, a knot forming in my stomach. Was he behaving strangely or was I just overthinking? For the next fifteen minutes, I waited for him to say something. Surely, he’d want to continue our conversation from yesterday, right? But as the silence stretched on and he showed zero interest in making small talk, I realized it was time to kick off phase one of my plan. Why was I waiting for him to make a move when I was the one in charge here?
‘I never asked you, what didyoustudy at NYU?’ I asked, glancing at him.
