Page 2 of Not Safe for Work
‘Good morning, ladies. Where’s everyone else?’ he asked, making his way to the head of the table.
Tanya and I shrugged in unison, and he raised an eyebrow before pulling out his phone.
‘If the two women who live in the suburbs can be here on time, so can everyone else,’ he said as he typed away on his phone.
The two of us looked at each other, exchanging furtive eye rolls. It’s not like he’d have the guts to call them out on it. Varunwas the third marketing head we’d worked under at Jharokha, and by far the most conflict-averse. To his credit, it was this tendency to avoid confrontation at all costs that made him more agreeable in this office’s delicate ecosystem.
Adingimmediately went off on both Tanya’s phone and mine.
Marketing Maestros
@Varun Bhardwaj: Are you guys coming???
Five minutes and a few lukewarm apologies later, the remaining members of the marketing team had joined us at the table.
‘So!’ Varun began as he got up, uncapping his whiteboard marker with a deliberate flick. ‘What have you guys got for me?’
Around the room, people were still settling in, not quite ready to talk shop. Saloni was scrolling on her phone. The two content writers, Nitya and Ajay, were busy whispering to each other. Arvind was fidgeting with his backpack, and Inayat was stifling a yawn.
When no one spoke up, Varun scribbled the words ‘Monsoon campaign ideas’ on the whiteboard, as if the act of writing it down would automatically draw out inspiration.
Saloni looked up from her phone and propped her chin on her right hand. ‘We could do a monsoon sale.’
How original, I thought, but said nothing. As the person responsible for driving revenue via our website and marketplaces like Amazon, Saloni was obsessed with sales. Valentine’s Day Extravaganza. Holi Special: Buy 1 Get 1. Diwali Dhamaka. Festive Feast. Christmas Treats. She pitched them for every campaign, and more often than not, got her way. The fact that hosting a sale was the lowest hanging fruit, as far as ideas todrive up sales were concerned, didn’t bother her one bit. She was only worried about meeting her targets; creativity could go take a hike.
I leaned back in my chair, waiting for Varun’s response. Would he push for something better or would he cave?
He wrote down the words ‘Yet another sale’ and a few of us let out a light laugh. Saloni remained unbothered.
‘How about something new, guys? Something fresh, current…’ he snapped his fingers, his gaze shifting around the room, urging someone to come up with an idea.
The AC was now on full blast, and I shivered in my plain spaghetti top and long skirt. I reached into my handbag, pulling out a cotton scarf to drape over my bare shoulders. Tanya, who had been quietly observing Varun, spoke up. ‘We could partner with an influencer to do a comedy sketch around Mumbai rains and subtly incorporate our new home decor range,’ she said, hooking her laptop to the HDMI cable.
Tanya was a social media manager at Jharokha, which was a 24/7 job. Even though I was pretty sure she made more money than me, I did not envy her.
‘Good Homes partnered with Khushi Bhatt for their latest launch,’ she said and played an Instagram reel on the TV.
‘Cute,’ Inayat said after the snappy, bite-sized video had ended. Saloni shot her an unpleasant look just as Varun added ‘Influencer partnership’ to the board.
‘Jiya, how much would it cost to get someone like Khushi on board?’ Varun spoke loudly for Jiya’s benefit—she had joined the meeting virtually.
She was supposed to return to work today, after a week-long holiday in Thailand, but had apparently missed her flight and had been forced to extend her stay by a few days. Although she had promised to work remotely to make up for this ‘unfortunate delay’, I bet she was still sipping cocktails on the beach.
A burst of noise filled the room as she unmuted herself, while her camera remained switched off. Loud chatter. Laughter. And was that Doja Cat’s new song playing in the background?
‘Sorry, could you repeat that?’ she asked innocently.
Tanya met my eye, lips pressed tight to hold back a smile. I already knew what we’d be gossiping about after the meeting.
Without an ounce of irritation in his voice, Varun recapped the conversation and repeated his question. The man had the patience of a saint—borderline unhealthy, if you asked me.
‘Twenty lakhs, easily,’ she said.
Saloni let out a low whistle, not even trying to hide her satisfaction as she announced to the room, ‘We can’t afford it.’
‘We could always go with a cheaper influencer. Or even a micro influencer,’ Tanya said, swivelling in her seat to face Saloni.
‘Not enough reach or engagement,’ she shot back.
