Page 36 of Every Single Broken Piece
When she figured out I was giving her all my pineapple pieces to make her happy, she tried to stop me. But I loved seeing her smile and made her take them.
To others, it might seem stupid, or it may not make sense, but it became our thing. I got to give Sage something small that meant the world to her.
In the back of my mind, I’m aware of my breaths bursting over my dry lips, my heart thundering a mile a minute.
“I’ve got you.” Levi’s voice sounds weird, as if he’s talking underwater.
I feel his fingers by my mouth as he feeds me the pill, and soon after, the soda eases the dryness. I sputter as I struggle to swallow, but finally manage.
As the worst of the panic attack eases a little, I become aware of Levi’s arms wrapped around me and the scent of his cologne.
I love the smell.
It feels as if his much bigger body curves around mine, and it gives me a sense of safety I haven’t felt since my world was destroyed.
“There you go. Deep breaths,” he murmurs, his tone soothing to my frayed nerves.
My fingers are twisted in his sweater, and needing to feel more of him, I flatten my hands over his back.
Finally, the medication kicks in and my breathing returns to normal. Levi presses a kiss to my temple, and his lips pause on my skin for long seconds.
Slowly, I brush my palms up and down the expanse of his back and broad shoulders, and as my emotions get tossed from one extreme to the next, I struggle to think straight.
When I feel a specific part of him hardening against my stomach, my eyes pop open. The next second, Levi yanks back, and picking up the Hawaiian pizza, he stalks to the kitchen.
I lift a trembling hand to my forehead while I suck in a deep breath of air.
I’m pretty sure Levi just got a hard-on. There’s no way I imagined it.
But if he’s attracted to me, why isn’t he acting on it?
Confused and still rattled by the severe panic attack, I sit down on the couch and scrub my palms over my face.
“Are you okay?” Levi asks, his tone gruff and deep.
Is he upset?
My head snaps up, and when I see the uncomfortable expression on his face, I begin to feel rotten. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head as he comes to sit down beside me. “Don’t ever apologize for having a panic attack.”
Needing to know why he’s upset, I ask, “Did I do something wrong? The touching?”
He shakes his head again and forces a smile to his face. “We’re left with pepperoni, and the other has the works on it. How do you feel about those?”
“I’m good with either,” I lie, because pepperoni was Dad’s favorite.
Levi leans forward and plates two slices of each for himself. When I see a long string of cheese, I swallow hard.
I know I can’t avoid everything that reminds me of my parents and Sage.
Enjoy it for them.
The little voice whispering deep in my heart is right. They’d be so upset if they knew how I was spending my time, and I’ve been getting so much better with Levi’s help.
Standing up, I walk to the kitchen, and seeing the Hawaiian pizza on the kitchen table, I pick it up and carry the box back to the living room. I sit down next to Levi again and lift the lid.
You can do this for Sage.
