Page 130 of Illegal Formation
Emily stood the moment I entered the room, her eyes wide with worry, feet already moving her toward me before I had the chance to react. She was breathtaking, even with the lines of exhaustion beneath her eyes.
“Braden,” she breathed, like I was everything she wanted, everything she needed.
She flew to me, and I was already breaking by the time she threw her arms around my neck.
I caught her in an embrace, squeezing tight, allowing myself the moment of selfishness to feel her one last time. I inhaled her scent, spruce and brown sugar, and committed it to memory. Her warmth was everything I needed. Her presence was the only thing I craved.
But if Ginny’s scare had taught me anything, it was that there was a price to pay when you played with fire.
I’d risked my career, thinking it was safe, convincing myself that even though I had everything to lose, surely I’d be fine.
No one would find out.
No consequences would come.
I’d been proven wrong.
And with the proof of why it was all so important slamming into my chest in the form of Ginny with a tube down her throat, I had no choice but to see it all painfully clear.
I held on for longer than I should have, terrified to let her go and have to face the truth. When I finally let her pull back, Emily reached for my face, wiping my tears away with her palms as her eyes searched mine.
“God, what happened? Is she okay?”
I nodded, unable to swallow with how tight my throat was. “She’s okay.”
“Oh, thank God.” Emily sighed with relief, but she was still holding me, her eyes flicking between mine. “Areyouokay?”
My chin wobbled.Fuck, I was so emotionally shredded I couldn’t keep it together. “Not really.”
Emily squeezed my hands, pulling me over to the farthest corner of the room. She guided me to a chair, sat me down, andthen left me long enough to fill a cup with water from the station in the waiting area.
“Drink,” she said.
I did only because I needed more time before I could speak, before I could look her in the eye and say the last thing I ever wanted to.
For a long time, she just sat there with me, wordlessly providing support with her hand wrapped around mine. She leaned her head on my shoulder, letting me feel her presence, not asking for a goddamn thing.
And I realized it in that cold, sterile waiting room. It hit me like a fact I’d known all along but forgotten to recall in a while, like an old, faded photograph from my childhood or a scent that took me right back to a bright summer day.
I loved her.
My chest squeezed painfully, fresh tears gathering but thankfully staying at bay.
I loved her because she was here for me. I loved her because she understood me in a way no one else did. I loved her because she pushed me to live when I’d been so complacent in just surviving, because she’d awakened a passion in me I never knew could exist.
I loved her.
And I couldn’t have her.
Not without jeopardizing my family’s security.
“I’m staying just down the block,” Emily said. “For as long as you want me to. And I don’t expect you to entertain me, I just want to be here.”
I shook my head, my esophagus painfully tight. “Em.”
“I told Claire I’d probably miss the game,” Emily said quietly. “She wasn’t thrilled, but I didn’t care. I needed to be here.”
“Emily.”
