Page 140 of Illegal Formation
I’m okay. Look at me.
She waited until I did.
I’m okay. But one day, I won’t be.
Tears stung my nose, my eyes, my throat wobbling. “Ginny.”
It’s the truth. And newsflash, but you don’t get to live forever, either. None of us do.
My chest burned. “I hate this for you,” I admitted, voice croaky and raw. “It kills me, Gin. I love you and I don’t want to see you hurting.”
Ginny’s expression softened.I’m okay.
She paused, thinking.
We’re not all handed the same cards in this life. It’s not always fair. But it’s the one we’ve got. And I love you, too, big brother, I do, but I’m so mad at you right now.
“Why?”
You did not break up with her for me or for football. You broke up with her because you were scared.
My heart stuttered in my chest before kicking back with force.
You’re scared of choosing yourself after a lifetime of convincing yourself you’re not allowed to. Stop using me as the reason you stay unhappy.
I knew it was taking so much effort for her to talk to me even this much that she wasn’t going to beat around the bush. I wasn’t going to get some flowery speech from her.
She was just going to let me have it — brutal and honest, like she always was.
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. “I am scared. But it’s more than that. I literallycan’t—”
Stop.
Ginny rolled her eyes, using her device feverishly now.
Mom, Dad, and I are okay. We are a family, Braden. I know how much you do for us, how you provide for us, but it doesn’t have to be all on you. We lean on each other, yes, but we do not need your sacrifice. Do you think if you hadn’t gone pro we wouldn’t have figured it out? We always do.
My chest tightened.
She was right.
I hated that I knew it all along, but she was right. Of course, that money I brought in made things easier. But there were always going to be other ways to make ends meet if we had to. I’d majored in business. I had backup plans. Mom and Dad could have applied for financial help. We would have found a way.
When did I put it all on me to save us?
Ginny kept typing.
And do you really think they are going to fire you for being with Emily if you tell them the truth? That you love her?
She raised a brow, waiting.
“They could,” I argued, but it sounded weaker now. “They warned us. They said if it happened again, someone could lose their job.”
Ginny didn’t even blink before she started typing again.
Could is not the same as would.
“But could is still a possibility. Theycouldcut me,” I said, my thoughts picking up speed now that I’d finally said them out loud. “If they decide I violated conduct policy, if they think I’m a distraction, if this becomes some PR nightmare— They could pull my guarantees. Release me. And if they do, that shit follows me. Every team talks. Every front office hears some version of it. They don’t hear I fell in love. They hear liability. Distraction. Bad judgment.” I dragged a hand down my face. “And if Emily gets caught in the fallout, too? If she loses everything she worked for because of me?”
