Page 120 of Illegal Formation
Like he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
For so long, I’d put up a shield — meeting people right where I knew they expected me to be. I deflected with humor. I made risky choices because they felt safe to me in their own right — to fail on my own terms instead of the ones others had predetermined.
But Braden saw through it.
He didn’t look at me like I was broken.
He didn’t look at me like I was falling behind.
He looked at me like I wasbecoming.
A fresh sting hit my eyes, and I moved again, this time with less hesitation, more trust. My body remembered things my mind hadn’t yet caught up to. The rise and fall. The release. The ache. The surrender. I let the song carry me through every version of myself I’d ever been — the little girl who danced in her bedroom, the teenager who believed it would save her, the woman who’d tried so hard to be impressive instead of honest.
And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I found her again.
Me.
I wasn’t polished, but I wasn’t rusted, either. I wasn’t running and I wasn’t trying to be someone I wasn’t.
I was just trusting that little voice inside me that had been silenced for far too long.
The final chorus swelled around me, and I let it move through my body one last time, every step softer now, more emotional than technical. I danced through the tears gathering in my lashes, through the tightness in my chest, through the hope and fear and grief and possibility all tangled together.
By the time the song began to wind down, I was breathless.
I floated to a stop in the middle of the room, chest rising and falling as the final notes echoed around me.
My eyes slid to Braden, and his jaw was tight, his lower lip wobbling. I crooked my head, and he answered with an embarrassed laugh just as a tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it away hastily, shrugging with another laugh as if he’d had no choice.
As if it was obvious that watching me dance would bring him to tears.
“You big baby,” I said over the music, but it was with my own tears breaking loose.
“Can’t help it,” he replied, standing with another shrug. “Can’t help anything when it comes to you.”
The music was still thumping through my chest as I ran to him, his arms uncrossing just in time to catch me. He held me tight, one hand at my waist, the other cradling the back of my head as he steadied us both.
My lips found his in a feverish need, my body rolling against his, all the emotion of the day surging to the surface as I clung to him.
“I’m ready for the kinky stuff,” I said breathlessly.
Braden answered me with a laugh against my lips, his arms holding me steady just like they had from the start.
“Whatever you want, birthday girl.”
Braden
We were all mouths and hands then, kisses roaming, fingers trailing, breaths picking up speed.
“Cameras?” Emily asked breathlessly against my lips.
“Not in here. There are some in the lobby, but we’re expected to be here. And we have the studio for two more hours.”
“Any chance they’ll come in before our time is up?”
“There are no classes the rest of the day, but I guess there’s always a chance.”
Emily tongued her cheek, warring with the decision.
