Page 96 of The Devil's Accidental Duchess
“It is not easy to want something that you cannot have,” she replied, a lump forming in her throat. “Yes, I forgive her. And part of me hopes she was not completely lying when she said she just wanted me to know the truth.”
Philip looked at the maids who were pouring the last buckets of water into the tub. “Leave us.”
The maids curtseyed and departed without complaint, closing the door behind them.Theywere not as concerned with propriety as someone like her father.
“I suppose this means it is time to talk,” Philip said with a sad smile.
Selina swallowed. “I suppose it is.”
“Then you might as well be comfortable.”
He pushed away from the window and came to stand in front of her, offering his hands. Hesitantly, she took them, allowing him to help her to her weary feet.
“Turn around,” he said softly.
Feeling a faint thrill that she quickly suppressed, she did as he asked… and found herself close to bittersweet tears as she felt him unbutton the back of her ruined dress. It was not one she was particularly attached to, but she was still sorry that it had been torn and muddied, entirely unsalvageable.
“At least it wasn’t my wedding dress,” she said with a stiff laugh.
“How did this happen?” he asked.
Gently, he eased the dress off her shoulders and teased the short sleeves down her arms, the brush of his touch warming her cold skin. The dress fell to the floor, and his hands moved to unlace her stays.
Had this been a day ago, in his study, the mood would have been rather different. As it was, there was something so tender about his actions, each touch careful and deliberate, as if he wanted nothing more than to take care of her.
When he pulled her shift up and over her head, leaving her bare, he did not try to caress her naked body. He did not kiss her skin or pull her against him. Instead, he took her by the hand and led her to the bath, helping her into the soothing, fragrant water.
“Is it too hot?” he asked as she sank deeper into the warmth.
She shook her head, smiling. “It is perfect.” She groaned a little. “My legs will be so very grateful for this. I have not ridden a horse that much in a long time… if ever.”
Picking up a cloth, he dipped it in the water. With an expression of intense concentration, he began to run the cloth along her legs, scrubbing her skin of the memory of her kidnapping.
“You said that you heard everything I told Mary in my study,” he began after a moment.
Selina closed her eyes and nodded. “I did.”
“You heard me admit that I had considered how choosing you as my bride would anger my father?”
She nodded again. “Yes.”
“Did you also hear me say that I care for you now?”
“I think so.”
She cracked open one eye and watched as he held her left leg out of the water, paying extra attention to a patch of mud above her sore, chafed ankle.
“Anything else is not true anymore,” he insisted. “Revenge has no place in what is between us. My heart doesn’t care if marrying you would anger my father or not. All I care about is you.”
Her heart swelled in her chest, but she could not get ahead of herself. It would only hurt more if she raised her hopes only to have them dashed.
“But was it true that you do not want children?” she asked, her voice catching, as if her mouth did not want to know the answer that might ruin everything afresh.
He carefully put her leg back into the water and lifted the other, his jaw tense and his brow creased as he scrubbed away the dirt. It seemed he was trying to buy himself time, and she was only too happy to let him, so she could cling to the illusion of happiness a moment longer.
As one minute became five, however, she couldn’t stay silent anymore.
“I never wanted to get married,” she said. “I expected I would have to, and I hoped it would be romantic and built on love, but I became more rational about it as I grew up. I understood that it might not be like my books. That being said, if Idomarry, I… cannot spend the rest of my life alone.”
