Page 55 of Ruined
Of coursethat’swhat he would take from that conversation.
“Mouth as in thewordsthat seem to fall out of it—not because of what he can do with it. Despite his multiple attempts at that, I never looked at him in that way.” I leaned toward Silas playfully. placing my hand lightly on his before I tapped twice. “But honestly?” I said in a light tone, winking. “He probably couldn’t manage half of what you do.”
There was no instant flare of anger in his face. If anything, his expression turned to one of sadness, but his hands twitched, tightening around my leg, and I took that as a win. After a moment, he blinked a few times and casually picked a piece of lint off my leg. “And they all live with you?”
An odd feeling crossed over me then, and I straightened my body. Something told me this wasn’t just an average conversation. He wasn’t just trying to learn, like he did with my body earlier. The questions he asked felt weighted, as if this talk was more like an interrogation. In just the last few seconds, Silas’s body had tensed and his eyes seemed colder. I tilted my head,very aware that something had changed. “Yes?”
A slight pain shot up my leg as his thumbs suddenly dug into the muscle there. A short sound of pain escaped me just as he looked down and realized what he’d done. His hands stilled as he looked up at me, gently rubbing over the area before kissing it. “Sorry.”
I pulled my leg away, keeping my eyes on him the whole time. Now Iknewsomething was off.“Well,” I said lightly, brushing my hands over the blanket on my lap, “while we’re asking questions…Am I allowed to ask when I can go home?”
This time, my words pulled a reaction from him. Silas held my gaze for a moment before his eyebrow twitched and he stood. “Why? It's not like you have a job anymore. Am I allowed to ask how you feel about us?”
My jaw dropped at his first response but I wasn't sure why. Silas had been watching me, so of course he knew about that. To be fair though, I had never actually resigned from my job, I had just left the keys out for Atlas. A clear indication I wasn't coming back.
Deciding to let it go, I considered his next question as I watched him gather the trash around us. When he turned back toward me for my answer, my body automatically shrugged even though my thoughts on that subject were anything but casual. “I’m still thinking about everything,” I admitted. “You aren’t exactly an average boyfriend.” The words sounded silly when I said them out loud, but they were the most honest ones I had.
Silas clicked his tongue once as he tied the bag and unbuckled the restraints from the bed before throwing them into a pile. “I don’t think the termboyfriendfits me very well.”
“Yeah,” I said in full agreement, “I know.” My confession made him stop completely. I stopped fiddling with my fingers to look up at him.
“I thinkhusbandwould be better.”
I replayed his words just to make sure I heard the right ones, but even then, I was in shock. “I’m sorry,what?!”
He held eye contact for another second before continuing to strip one side of the bed. “I guess that’s something we can discuss later.” His tone left no room for argument, which made me blush and become incredibly uncomfortable.
I stood, trying to change the subject. “If I can't go home, am I allowed todebatethe terms of my stay? Like maybe access to a hot shower?”
A slow exhale came from him, as if it was something he hadn’t even thought about. Handing me my clothes, he pulled me into his chest. “If I say yes, will you stay with me longer?”
My cheeks flushed as I pushed up against him and then stepped around his body to get dressed. While I slipped each leg into my bottoms, he stripped the bed of the dark sheets and threw everything together in the corner of the room. Then, he walked to the opposite corner and reconnected the wires hanging out of the bottom of the camera. Twisting together two cords, he stepped back just as a blue light flickered on. A few seconds passed before he was facing me again and closingthe space between us.
“What do you think?” he asked as he grabbed my hand.
I furrowed my eyebrows at him, avoiding the question. “I need a shower, Silas.”
He nodded, pulling us toward the door we entered through. Once we left the hidden hallway, I assumed he would take me to a reserved space in the club, a place meant to wash off the sins that were regularly committed there, but ten minutes later I found myself in his car.
I didn't say anything as he opened the door for me, and I remained quiet as we pulled off onto the road. The more Silas drove, the more the engine created a steady vibration—one that traveled up through the seat and into my spine, weirdly soothing me. Outside the window, the world had dissolved into long stretches of dark road and scattered lights. I decided to focus on that. Resting my head against the cool glass, I watched the night slide by.
The air was too quiet between us and I wasn't sure what to say. Silas was Silas, butnot.
As if he heard my thoughts the exact moment I had them, Silas’s hand moved to my thigh and gently squeezed. My eyes moved to his face, where I found him staring straight toward the road. I shifted my gaze down his neck and shoulder, following his arm until the tattoos stopped at his wrist.
I quietly scoffed at myself and the fact I was sitting here, worrying about Silas. Realistically,hewas the person I was supposed to be nervousabout, not worriedfor. For all I knew,we were driving straight to the middle of nowhere, but here I was, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head. A quiet breath of amusement slipped out of me before I could stop it.
As I watched him from the corner of my eye, Silas repeatedly glanced over at me. Each time was quick, barely a second, and then his attention snapped back to the road.
I turned my head slightly, studying him in the dim glow of the dashboard lights. The faint blue light caught along the edge of his jaw and the bridge of his nose. “This feels weird,” I said, rotating my hand in a circle between us.
“What does?”
Shifting in the seat, I pulled one leg up underneath me as I leaned back into the leather behind me. “The part where I should probably be panicking again.”
One dark eyebrow lifted, just barely. “You want topanicagain?”
“Maybe,” I muttered back.
