Page 67 of Unleashed
I chew on my lip. Trying to do something, anything, to stop me breaking.
"I always thought that the second you stopped loving me completely, I'd die. I'd just drop dead. Heart would stop. Lights out. Done." I stare at the ground. "And that never happened. So I thought you'd come back to me. That fate would put us together. That I was still alive because you were still mine, no matter which state you lived in."
My voice is steady. I don't even know how.
"But if you're marrying another man, that means at some point, you fell out of love with me."
She flinches. I see it run through her whole body.
She closes her eyes. Her hand goes to her bare left ring finger, and she presses it like the ghost of the ring still burns.
“What kind of man asks you to marry him and doesn’t give you a ring?” I ask.
"I took it off," she says. "Before I came here. I couldn't wear it on this land. I couldn’t…"
I sigh. “Face me?” I finish for her.
That tells me more than she means it to. She couldn't bring his ring onto Sterling soil. Couldn't let something that belongs to another man touch the place that belongs to us.
But it doesn't change the fact.
"Why am I still alive, Goldie? If you stopped loving me. Why am I still here?"
She makes a sound. Not a word. Something broken and involuntary, torn from her throat. Her hand comes up to her mouth.
"Ace—"
"Answer me."
Tears roll down her cheeks, and she doesn't wipe them. She just looks at me with those green eyes, drowning, and her whole body trembling.
"I never stopped."
Three words. My whole world tilts.
"I never stopped loving you, Ace. Not for one second. Not for one day." Her voice cracks, and she pushes through it, like the words have been trapped inside her for so long they're fighting to get out. "Every morning, you're my first thought. Every night, you're the last face I see. I read every text you ever sent me. Every single one. And I held my phone so tight afterward, my hand would cramp because I wanted to reply so bad it physically hurt."
She presses her palm flat against her chest. Right over her heart.
"I tried to get over you. I tried so hard. I went on dates, and I sat across from men who were perfectly fine, and all I could think was his eyes are the wrong color and his laugh is wrong, and he isn’t my Acey." She wipes her face with the back of her hand. "And I know that's not fair to you. I know holding on while pushing you away is the cruelest thing I could do. I know that, Ace. But I don't know how to stop because you're in me. You're in my blood. And I can't cut you out without losing everything."
She's sobbing now. The ugly, full-body kind that shakes her shoulders and steals her breath. And I can see it—this isn't a woman who chose to leave. This is a woman who's been carryingsomething so heavy for so long that her spine is bending under it. She's not selfish. She's drowning. And she's been drowning alone because she won't let anyone, no, she won't letmethrow her a rope.
I want to hold her. God, I want to hold her so bad my arms ache. I want to pull her into my chest and tell her it's going to be alright. The way I used to. The way nobody else ever could.
But if I touch her, I'm done. If I hold her, I'll never let go. And she'll still leave. She always leaves. And this time it will actually kill me.
"Stop," I say.
She looks at me, tears streaking her face.
"Ace, I'm sorry?—"
"Stop, Harper. Please."
The please comes out ragged. I drag my hand over my face, pressing my fingers into my eyes until I see stars.
"You can't do this to me. You can't sit here and tell me you love me and then go back to LA and marry someone else. I need you to understand what that does to me, Harper. I need you to understand that every word you just said is a gift and a knife at the same time."
