Page 51 of His to Keep
“Yeah, Ellis.” Something about the way she says my name sends shivers down my spine. “I know.”
“So, what now?”
“Um.” She captures her bottom lip between her teeth. “Do you mind if I use the shower? I kind of want to get all this makeup off and put on my pajamas.”
”Of course. Down the hall, last door on the left. There’re fresh towels in the hall closet.”
SIXTEEN
SCARLET
I grabmy bag and trudge toward the bathroom, feeling like I have anvils strapped to my ankles, desperately weighing me down. My legs shake with the effort, each step harder than the last.
Sweat dots my hairline by the time I finally make it to the end of the hall. I’m momentarily shocked by how clean his bathroom is—I’m talking immaculate—but the tears come as soon as I start the water, turning it as hot as I can bear.
“You’re okay,” I sob, hissing as I step beneath the scalding spray. “You’re safe.”
But it’s no use. I’m unequivocallynotokay.
Sinking to my knees, the water pelts me as I completely and utterly break.
At least the sound of the shower will drown out my sobs.
My shoulders shake violently as my thoughts spin, round and round, much like the water circling the drain.
“Get a grip.” I dig my fingers into my scalp until I can’t take the sting another second.
I’m spiraling. I know I am. But I don’t know how to stop it. It’s pathetic, really. All I’ve ever wanted is to be, well,wanted,and now that someone finally does, they’re a psycho stalker.
Story of my fucking life. From my dad to making friends to men, I’m somehow always either too much or not enough.
Except for with Nora, who just so happens to be my first—and only—real friend. By all counts, she should hate me the same way Atlas does. The same way Ellis does... or did... I don’t even know anymore. But somehow, she doesn’t, and I’ll treasure her friendship for as long as she’ll let me. Because one day, it will come to an end. I’m sure of it. All good things do.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I can feel my chest expand with every inhale, but I can’t seem to actually get any air. It’s almost like…
I can’t breathe. Why? Why can’t I breathe?
My fingers claw at my throat, as I try—and fail—to take a full breath.
Knock, knock.The sound of Ellis thumping against the door momentarily distracts me from my panic.
I try to reply, but black dots dance along the edges of my vision, and I sway forward, smacking my head against the tile backsplash.
“Scarlet!” he shouts my name, but he sounds so far away. “Answer me or I’m coming in.”
I open my mouth, but all that comes out is a garbled cry.
The door flies open and Ellis rushes to me. “Fuck, Princess.”
He turns the water off, and suddenly, I’m shivering. My teeth chatter and my body shakes as I curl in on myself in search of warmth.
“I’m gonna wrap you in a towel, okay?”
I think I nod. Maybe.
Suddenly I’m notascold anymore.
“Scarlet.” A callused hand brushes along my cheekbone. “Are you with me?”
