Page 42 of Once Bitten
Yes, sir, he has no idea what weapon he had put in my hands. I replayed everything he’d said about his brother and his relationship, the thing that had scared him enough to want to push me away, and I saw opportunity and room for growth.
The one thing he had overlooked that was going to come back to bite him in the ass: I’m not Victoria. She was a kid when she let his maniacal brother run game on her like that. I’m fixing to bust all their shit wide open.
Since all the men in the family have lost their damn minds, it’s up to me, the newest daughter-in-law, to show these ladies how it’s done. Because what do you mean you suffer from something where you can’t live without me? Demand and supply.
I was warm and fuzzy all over at just the thought of how I was going to run his life and have him at my beck and call until thegrave. Can’t live without me, huh! Will lose your mind if I’m too far away for too long, hah. These are tools I can use at any time. I was giddy.
The more I wrote and pondered, the more that pain that had been with me for so long began to ease. It’s not that I plan to let him off the hook, but it didn’t hurt as much as it used to. Though his explanation left much to be desired, I don’t think he would lie to me about something that serious.
I tried to imagine how I would feel in his shoes, but came up empty. I have no point of reference. My feelings for him were more classic, like your run-of-the-mill girl falling in love with the pretty boy. His sounded more like something out of a supernatural movie.
It was obsessive and possessive, and everything a woman with sense would run away from if she had any sense, but I know him. That’s the thing: I know Julius Blair, and it’s because I know him that I fell in love with him in the first place.
The first time I saw Julius, he was with his mother and sister. I’m not sure even now what it was about him that caught my attention and held it, but I knew it had something to do with the day he’d fawned over those two women, like they were spun gold.
I have my fair share of fawning in my family as well, so I know when it’s real and when someone is putting on an act; he wasn’t. Because they were in our home that day for some backyard party or the like, I had more than enough time to study him without him even knowing, and he was the real deal.
He didn’t change when he thought no one was watching; he had been the same throughout. He reminded me of my Dad and the way he is with Mom and us girls. With Dad, it’s annoying; with him, it was cute.
Add the fact that he has the face an artist would love and the body to go with it, and there you have it. His voice, when hespoke, had a melody to it that seemed to reach deep inside me and touch something hidden there.
My body shivered with the memory of what had befallen me that day. I’d fallen head over heels with him right then and there, but I was too young. It could’ve easily been cast away as an innocent teenage crush, but with each consecutive meeting, those feelings only seemed to grow stronger.
It was hell being in love with someone so far out of reach, and that is why the things he had said to me that night had cut so deep. The worst part had been carrying that pain and still not being able to fall out of love with him.
It was nothing like his family legacy, but my love for him was just as strong. I underlined that part over and over again, because that was the crux of the matter. Had I lost all feelings for him, none of this would be necessary. I could just toss it aside as wasted effort on my part.
But those feelings were still there; they had never left. And now that he was back with hat in hand, I was going to get my due before settling down into marital bliss. Why not marry him after all is said and done? I’m holding a royal flush while he’s still asking the dealer for new cards.
Most women would probably run scared by now because what he described was so intense, but as for me, I see an uneven playing field, and I have the upper hand. I want to settle down and have kids someday, so what are my choices?
Go looking for someone else? Someone like Dale, whom I couldn’t even stand while in the relationship and hate now? Or stick with the guy who just told me he’s basically stupid in love with me? That’s a no-brainer.
I still have to deal with my own feelings, though, something I have avoided forever. Just because I know why doesn’t negate the fact that I was hurt back then and still bear the wounds. Justrunning away like this isn’t enough. I have to find a way to make him pay so that he’d never do that shit again.
And that was the problem. I had nothing. Each thought was pushed to the side because Julius wasn’t like anyone else I’ve ever met. I can’t use my usual warfare tactics on him; more’s the pity. I think he read the same books I have. If I go at him head-on, I might lose.
That’s why I’m here: I need time and space to think, to come up with a sure-fire way to deal with him so he doesn’t get out of line again. I chewed on my lip as I gave it some thought, taking notes as I went. The more I wrote, the more relaxed I felt until my hand grew tired.
By the time I put the pen down, it was way past midnight, and I realized that I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and there was only a chocolate bar in my purse that had been in there who knows how long.
It was too late to go anywhere since I was sure that everything would be closed by now, so I had to make do. I turned my phone back on since I’d turned it off when I left and saw a slew of missed calls and messages.
I snorted and put it away again; no way was I calling him back to put his mind at ease. His messages sounded harried and out of sorts, like I’d done him some grave injustice by leaving. I didn’t call my parents because they were under the impression that I was with Julius, and I wasn’t about to tell them that I had run away again and why.
I was protecting him from my Dad and the other men in my family because if they knew about that night, he’d never make it out alive. Worst, if they knew, there’s no way in hell my Dad would let me be with him.
JESSICA
Iwas surprised to wake up feeling refreshed the next morning and even more amazed that I’d been able to fall asleep at all in the first place. I’d thought it was a fluke that I had slept so well at his place and had even played around with the idea that it was because of him, but now I have to rethink that. Maybe what did it was me finally leaving that ass Dale.
I stretched and smiled, looking forward to the new day and my own machinations, until I happened to look at the pillow next to mine. The movement stopped me cold in my tracks, and all thoughts left me. “Huh?” That’s odd. It looked like there was a head print there. Then I came to my senses and shook it off. Obviously, I left it there while I changed pillows throughout the night.
I hopped out of bed and headed to the shower. This place, I have to say, even though I bought it on a whim and spent a lot of Julius’s money to do it, is a masterpiece. Once I stop being mad at the fam, I’ll have them out for a weekend. Thank heaven for one-way glass, because the bathroom, especially the corner with the his-and-hers tub, was nothing but glass overlooking the ocean.
The shower could fit five people easily if you were into that sort of thing, and I almost got carried away before I remembered that I was a woman on a mission. I have to tell Dad to hurry up and buy for the twins, since he’s been holding off because of his worries about shoddy construction.
The place had gone up so fast that he was afraid that it was just paper-thin walls and half-inch nails, his words. But it was obvious that they’d gone old-school on this one. There wasn’t a hint of drywall to be found. Instead, when I knocked against it, there were blocks and rebar back there. It was a good buy. I smirked at myself in the mirror, almost wishing I could see Julius’ face when he got the bill.
