Page 66 of Riding High

Ah, she could push the point but decided that was an argument for later.Right now, he looked shattered.Edensuspected another emotional blow would cause him to become a human version of the suit of armour hitting the floor.

Eden knew he wanted to hold it together and that he wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable.He was the glue that held the Castle family together, but sometimes glue became brittle and hard, and started to crack.

She took his hand, interlinked her much smaller fingers in his and tugged him toward a small knoll of grass, under the stately oak tree.It was where she’d lain after collapsing the first time she’d visited Elmsleigh over two months ago.She sat, leaned her back against the tree, and patted the grass beside her.When he turned his head away and looked at the horses in the paddock, she shook her head at his stubbornness.

‘Jed, sit down,’ she firmly stated.Imitating her mum’s taking-no-shit tone worked, even on thirty-five-year-old alpha males.

Good to know.

Jed bent his long legs and rested his arms on his knees.‘I don’t want to talk about it, Eden,’ he stated, his voice rough.

Of course, he didn’t, because Jed was a doer and a solver, not a talker.But her aim wasn’t to get him to talk, but to let him know he wasn’t alone.‘I get what you said earlier, about needing to do something, or be someone for your family, to feel like you have worth,’ she said, trying to keep her tone casual.

He didn’t look at her, but Eden sensed his interest, so she continued.‘My mum was a foster mum, I told you that, right?’When he nodded, she continued.‘There were so many kids, and I was just another one.She couldn’t give anyone too much attention; she didn’t have the time or the emotional resources.Kids came in; kids went out.I was the one that stayed.I only got as much from her– brush your teeth, make your bed, fix your hair– as they others did.Food, a roof over my head, a bed.Not much else.’

Eden looked for the right words to explain her unique situation.‘My mum wasn’t… warm, is the right word.She did a lot of good, but…’

‘But you were a long-term foster kid.Someone she didn’t connect with on an emotional level.Now I understand why raising funds for Hope Harbour is so important to you.’

God, he got her.On levels no one else had ever before.It was like he could peel her apart and look directly into the heart of who she was.It scared her on levels she didn’t think were possible.

But this wasn’t about her; it was about him.And the fact that he’d been dealing with the death of his biological father– that had to raise some unwelcome feelings– and his brother’s sudden reappearance in his life, demanding a relationship.Maybe demanding was too harsh a word, but Henry could be persistent.He clearly wanted the relationship with his brother that their father had denied them, and Henry appeared to be determined to make it happen, no matter what.Eden sighed, remembering the flinty stare in Jed’s eyes as he’d told his family the truth.How worried he’d been that Henry’s arrival would affect his relationship with his siblings and his stepfather.

‘I remember spending a couple of nights at a foster home like your mum’s,’ Jed said, his voice lower than normal.Holy hell, really?She whipped her head around and took in his profile.‘Really?’she asked.‘How did that happen?’

‘My mum went through a rough patch a couple of years before she met Troyden.She came to London.I presume she thought she could find work here and look after me.But childcare, even back then, was so damn expensive, and she fell out with the Bancrofts for a few months.We ended up moving, often, eventually into a shelter for a week or so.’Jed’s voice trembled a little.‘I was young, and I still don’t know why they took me away.I only spent a night in care, and the Bancrofts picked me up the next day.It was something that embarrassed her, so I didn’t push for the hows and whys it had happened.’

He took a shaky breath, then quirked a half-smile.‘It would’ve been cool if we’d briefly met as kids, though, huh?’

She never pegged him for a romantic.Shifting closer she curled her hand around his big bicep, and kissed his shoulder, feeling the heat of his skin beneath his cotton t-shirt.‘Very cool,’ she sighed in response.But she knew London was a big city; there were so many shelters, so many foster homes, so much need.

‘Was your mum always religious?’Jed asked, his hand playing with her fingers holding his arm, as they settled into this pocket of vulnerability.

Was he done talking about his father?It seemed so.But maybe by talking about herself, she’d ease him into opening up.Eden shrugged.‘Yes, although I didn’t realise how religious until I was an adult.But she was very… how do I put this?… private.She didn’t talk to me, Jed.Or to anyone.’Her mum had no friends.Eden had been just like her up until a few weeks back: lonely, isolated, friendless.Now she had Mick and Troyden, Al and Justin and, to an extent, Jed.

She rested her temple on his bicep.‘I didn’t even know who my dad was until I met Troyden.’

Could she say the words she thought often but had never expressed?Yeah, she thought she could.‘My mum joined the Church when I was eighteen, and I didn’t understand why.When she went into the cloister, I finally understood: I’m her sin, Jed, her biggest mistake.Every day for eighteen years, whenever she looked at me, she was confronted with the fact that she’d gone against God’s will and had sex and a baby out of wedlock.’

He started to protest, but she shook her head.‘It doesn’t matter if we think it’s archaic or whether we believe in it or not; she did,profoundly.She felt that she had disappointed God, and I was the living proof.’

He was silent for a long time.‘You couldn’t possibly be a disappointment, Eden.’

That was the nicest thing anyone had said to her, in a long, long time.‘I now get why she joined the convent, sort of, why she retreated.She could concentrate on her relationship with God and on repairing it.I think it was the only relationship that ever mattered to her.’

He turned his head to lay his lips on her forehead and she closed her eyes when he kept them there, murmuring against her skin, ‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart.’

She pulled back and handed him a shaky smile.‘I’m okay.’Well, apart from the fact that she was hiding her relationship with the Bancrofts from him, that she didn’t know how she was going to walk away from him and this place, that she might, possibly, be falling in love with him…

Apart from all that, she was just dandy.Jed didn’t look convinced and so she squeezed his arm.‘I’ve had a long time to get used to my reality, Jed.’It was time for him to talk now.‘Just as you have.But I can see that Henry pushing to acknowledge you as his brother has floored you.’

He pushed his other hand through his messy, thick hair.‘That’s the understatement of the century.’

She waited him out, not knowing whether he’d open up and let her in.She’d learned that Jed never did anything he didn’t want to do.

‘He says that his life wasn’t as great as it looked.’

She heard doubt in his voice.‘And you don’t believe him?’