Page 52 of Scars
I sigh. Releasing his chin, I reach down for his hands, holding them firmly in mine. “Your Owner is trying to hold on to control, because his world is spinning out of line with what it once was.”
“And I made it worse.”
I shake my head. “No, Emilio. You didn’t. I wish you would have talked to me first, so we could have come up with a plan together.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I understand if you’re mad at me too. For not talking to you, and for hurting my Angel.”
I squeeze his hands until he winces. “I’m not mad at you, Baby Boy. Disappointed you didn’t talk to me first? Maybe. I’m your Daddy, it’s what I’m here for. But I’ll let this one slide because you didn’t know that was an option. Next time something like this crops up, you’ll know to come to me, won’t you? Because if you don’t…you’ll get punished.”
He squeaks, his cheeks flaming red. I don’t worry that I’ve gone too far. Not when he nods rapidly. “Yes, Daddy,” he whispers, lowering his head a little.
“Good Boy. Now, as for your Owner…he doesn’t hate you either. He’s more disappointed with himself for not being what you need. Hol takes failure seriously, and to know he let you down? That you were so hurt by him that you had to throw out an ultimatum? He’s…struggling.”
“I didn’t mean to! I just… I wanted him to fucking listen! I need my Owner and my Daddy and my Master! Now, I've fucked it all up, and I’ll probably only have my Master.”
“Hush.” I squeeze his hands again. “It’s your turn to listen now.”
Lio sniffs and stares at me with wide, tear-filled eyes, but he nods.
“You’re listening?”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I know you don’t like to repeat yourself, so I’m listening.”
“Good.” I take a moment to gather my thoughts, to figure out correct the words to say, because my Boy’s happiness is hanging in the balance here, and like fuck am I going to allow him to lose pieces of himself in order to please everyone.
“You’re not responsible for Hollis’s actions, nor are you responsible for anyone else’s. Yes, you should have come to me, but you didn’t know. It’s clear now, though, right?”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I’m not used to talking about feelings. It’ll never be my forte, but I’ll remember, and try to be good.”
“That’s all Daddy asks. I’d hate to punish you when you’re already having big emotions, but I will because I need to know you’re listening to me. Hollis…he struggles with letting go of control because he didn’t have any for so long. I know the same could be argued for your Master, but I think we both agree he’s trying now, right?”
“Yes. Master…he’s come so far from when I first met him. He…he’s still my Master. I need him—he’s my soul, and I was dying without him. I’m sorry for that. That I wasn’t what you wanted without him.”
“Hey, none of that, okay? I know how it feels. I couldn’t imagine losing Hollis. You handled being away from him far better than I would have.” Leaning forward, I press a kiss to his forehead. “You don’t have to apologize for needing him. I know you love me, and Hollis, and Roman.”
“I do. I love you all so much. I…I don’t want to ever choose. But if I had to? I’d choose myself—you and Sir taught me that.”
“I am so fucking proud of you, Little Monster. That’s all I want, for you to be happy and know your worth. It’s why, as hard as it was for Hol to hear, he needed you to be honest with him.”
“But…where does that leave us? He…I want my Owner. I need him…”
I bite back a sigh as I reach up and wipe tears from his cheeks. “Your Owner won’t hold anything you said or did against you. He…is going to be with Javi and Doc for a few days.” He gasps, fresh tears falling. “I should have pushed the issue months ago, when he first hurt himself again, but there was too much going on. Roman was hurt, we had just lost our home, and the old Bosses were falling apart in front of our eyes, but still. If anyone is to blame, it should be me. For not realizing how badly Hollis was struggling.”
“No! You’re perfect! Sir will understand. You…you’ve both had a lot going on.”
“And you haven’t?” I raise a brow, enjoying the sheepish look on his face as he realizes he walked right into a trap. “It’s nobody’s fault. Things have… Everything’s been fucked up since the old Bosses were taken, but we’re fixing it, right? We’re on track to being better than before.”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I love the Council. Working with Roman and Carter is better than I ever thought, even if I didn’t know I wanted to be a leader. Even though I haven’t been around much, I do enjoy the work, and am proud of what we’re building.”
“Because the three of you are perfect together. You’re shining in your role, being Death, and embracing all sides of yourself.”
He swallows. “That’s hard. Being honest, showing parts of myself I wasn’t aware I had. I…Papa Bear and I dabbled a little in the nursery, but I didn’t like it. Or I didn’t think I did. But…”
“But you let yourself go with me,” I finish for him. “You showed me what a sweet and cuddly Little Boy I have.”
“I want to be that, Daddy. But, Sir…”
“He’ll come back from his time with Javi and Doc stronger than before, with more tools in his arsenal to handle everything he’s dealing with. You trust them, don’t you?”
