Page 40 of Promised to the Nightmare Realm
That is… a relief, because having to avoid a man’s attentions while being stuck in his house for almost a month is the definition of a nightmare. “And you knew this since when? That message you read when we crossed into the Nightmare Realm,” I say sharply and look away when Lady scoots down to do her business.
I can’t believe this is the way I’m finding out.
Tristan finally meets my gaze. “I didn’t want to spoil our evening.”
The contents of my skull are cooking, but I won’t follow my baser instincts and raise my voice, because we’re here with a baby, and she’s not at fault. “You mean, you worried you wouldn’t get in my pants so easily if I knew.” I’m beginning to question everything he told me last night.
Tristan raises his eyebrows. “Nate. Youwantedme in your pants.”
“So? I might have wanted it a bitlessif I knew you were lying to me!” I hate that Lady looks up at me in alarm, but I can’t help the emotions rattling in me.
“I’m sorry. Maybe my judgement was clouded by wanting to make you happy.”
I roll my eyes, because this is typical. I always get emotionally invested in relationships too fast, only to have my heart broken. Why would I assume this time would be any different? “Do I look happy now?”
He spreads his arms. “Would it have really been that much better to know sooner?”
I shoot up, hoping I can keep my dignity by not breaking down over this. “Yes. I want the truth, not empty promises.”
“The promises aren’t empty! You will come to the castle for the ceremony in three weeks. We will reunite. I will be free to pursue you. Do you not know I hate this too?”
I stumble to the side when Lady pulls on the leash, but I stand my ground and meet Tristan’s gaze despite the turmoil inside me. “Why can’t you stay? Maybe if I asked him—”
“He won’t allow it.” Tristan takes a deep breath, wrapping his fingers on his nape, and I hate how even now I have to admit he’s pretty as a picture. “I will ask anyway.”
I nod, fiddling with the leash in my hand as the breeze howls somewhere above, bringing with it the scent of smoke. “I don’t think he really wants me there anyway. He told you to throw me back into the river.”
“He was tired, it was a long night for us—”
“Are you really making excuses for him?”
Tristan bites his lip and focuses on Lady instead of me. “A Dark Companion is extremely important to a shadow wielder who wishes to enhance their power. You are very valuable to him.”
About as valuable as that last piece of bread left in the packet, when one is too tired to go shopping for more.
I exhale. “And yet he didn’t even bother to fetch me himself.”
“He doesn’t appreciate the human realm the way I do. But I guess that’s just another excuse. I admit it, I’ve got no love for him. But he’s the one whose shadow is bound to yours, and so we have to bear it. Believe me when I say that given the chance now, I would have just tied your shadow to mine, consequences be damned.”
Impossible promises are easy, but when Tristan reaches for me, golden eyes on fire, I find myself believing him regardless.
I am such a loser.
“Fine. We should go,” I say and pick up Lady, who yelps unhappily.
The gorgeous moonlit pond no longer seems so magical. Even the kelpie isn’t as fascinating now that dark clouds have gathered over my heart.
Am I really this gullible? I’ve always had this problem. I try to avoid lying, so I assume others are just as sincere. After everything guys put me through, deep down I still believe in love. Iwantto trust Tristan.
But it’s difficult to stay cheerful and excited when I know he’s going to desert me with a man who would rather see me die than be stuck with me.
Tristan knows better than to attempt conversation while I brood, so we travel in silence, over moors and through woodlands that are breathtakingly wild and beautiful yet don’t manage to lift the gloom that settled over me the moment I found out the truth.
Lady is my only solace, so I stroke her, and give her bits of leftovers from breakfast, and even some jerky Tristan purchased for the road. For me, he got a bunch of baked potatoes, but I lack the appetite even when my stomach starts growling.
Guilt is radiating off Tristan like a dense fog, but I don’t feel compelled to pretend he didn’t hurt my feelings. I might be naive in my beliefs about love, but I still have my dignity.
The hilly landscape transforms as we near the ocean, and while we remain on the road, once in a while passing other travellers, I spot all manner of animals. Some are remarkably familiar, like the hares differentiated from the ones in my world by the greenish hue of their fur, others mesmerize me with their fantastical nature.
