Page 84 of Almost Yours
She nods, relaxing back against the pillows as I carefully clean between her legs with the warm cloth. She winces slightly, and guilt twists in my gut.
“Did I hurt you?”
“A little,” she admits. “But in a good way.”
I press a kiss to her inner thigh. “I’ll get you some ibuprofen. And water. You need to stay hydrated.”
She laughs softly. “You’re being very serious about this.”
“Because you’re important,” I say, tossing the washcloth aside. “The most important thing in my life.”
Her fingers brush against my hand. “Then get it in a minute. Right now, I just want you to hold me.”
There is no way I would ever tell her no. I shift onto my side, pulling her against my chest until there’s no space left between us. Her head tucks perfectly under my chin, and I wrap my arms around her.
Her fingers trace lazy patterns on my chest, and for a while, we just lie there in the quiet. The weight of the last five weeks presses down on me—all those nights spent in a cramped room, counting the hours until I could call her. The way her voice sounded smaller each time we talked. The growing silence between us that I tried to ignore because admitting it meant conceding I’d fucked up.
“Rowan?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Was it… Was I okay?” she asks, her voice small and uncertain.
What the hell?
I tilt her chin up, making her look at me. “Violet, that was the most incredible experience of my life.”
Her cheeks flush. “Stop it. I highly doubt that.”
I pull back, staring at her in disbelief. Something hot and uncomfortable flares in my chest. “You think I’m, what, comparing you to some roster of women?”
“Rowan, I didn’t?—”
“Listen to me,” I say, my voice lower but no less intense. I cup her face between my hands, making sure she can’t look away. “That was the best fucking sex of my life. And it wasn’t because of technique or experience or any of that bullshit. It was because it wasus.”
Her lips part, her eyes searching mine.
“Knowing I was your first?” I continue, my thumb brushing across her cheekbone. “That you trusted me with that? Jesus, Violet. I won’t ever forget that. You are beyond incredible, and I can’t have you thinking this was any less than it was. And just so you know,” I add, “I came so hard I thought I was going to black out.”
She giggles, tucking her face against my chest, and I hold her tighter, not saying anything for a beat.
“I’ve imagined this a thousand times,” I murmur into her hair. “And still, nothing came close.”
She lets out the smallest sigh. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what?” I ask, my fingers trailing lazily up and down her spine.
“What you imagined. About us.”
I chuckle softly, feeling unusually exposed. Not from being naked—that comes easy for me—but from having to admit just how deeply she’s been embedded in my thoughts all these years.
“You really want to know?”
She nods, her eyes bright with curiosity.
“I used to think about waking up with you,” I admit. “Not just the sex, though god knows I thought about that, too. But the quiet moments after—your hair spread across my pillow, watching you sleep.” I brush my thumb across her cheek. “I’d think about you wearing my shirts around the house, stealing my coffee in the morning.”
“Sometimes I’d imagine coming home to you after a long day,” I go on. “Just walking through the door and seeing your smile.” I pause, throat suddenly tight. “It was always the ordinary moments that got to me.”
