Page 36 of Penny For Your Thoughts
Diem placed them on the table beside the couch.
“Resume bear hugging,” I said.
Diem obliged. The muscles beneath his skin jittered and jumped. His heart raced under my ear. His grip was tighter than was comfortable, but I didn’t dare say anything, or Diem would retreat, swamped with shame and regret for having accidentally caused harm.
I squirmed, and it was enough of a cue for him to relax his hold. I could breathe again and tipped my head, kissing the underside of his scruffy chin. The faded scent of soap mixed with Diem’s natural scent was a balm on my soul.
I kissed the racing pulse under his jaw. “You okay, D? You seem jittery, and as much as I pretend to be a mind reader like Kitty, I’m having trouble with this one.”
“I haven’t had a drink since we visited your parents Sunday night.”
I processed that, unsure what to say. Was he experiencing withdrawal? Was his drinking so bad that he exhibited those symptoms after only a couple of days without alcohol? Diem never talked about his addiction, and I refused to bring it up, even though it concerned me.
He was aware, and to me, that was enough.
“That’s good… right?”
“Yeah. I’m…” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m getting help.”
“Oh?” I tried to break free from the stranglehold of his arms, but he wouldn’t loosen his grip. I suspected he didn’t want to look me in the eye for this conversation, so I nestled back into his arms and listened to the way his words vibrated and resonated inside his chest.
“Costa hooked me up with… Aslan Doyle. We’re meeting for lunch tomorrow, and I’m going with him to an AA meeting.”
“That’s good, D.”
“I didn’t know he was an addict.”
I stayed quiet.
Diem’s next breath shuddered through him, broken and jagged. It sounded like relief. Like he’d been holding in the confession all day, and his body could finally relax now that it was in the open. I considered the weight of such an admission and understood Diem’s introspection all afternoon.
“You deserve me at my best.” His voice barely carried to my ears.
“No one can be at their best all the time, D.”
“You are.”
I laughed and forcibly pushed from his arms so I could look at him. “I spent years finding my feet after Mom and I left that sperm donor asshole who called himself my father. Trust me, I’ve experienced my fair share of lows.”
I smoothed the tight skin beside Diem’s storm-cloud eyes, urging him to relax.
“Dinner at your parents’ was good. I don’t think I mentioned that.”
“You mean the food, not the company.”
He winced.
“Mom tries too hard. She wants you to feel like part of the family.”
Diem cut his gaze to a spot over my shoulder.Familywas a tough concept for Diem. I imagined he couldn’t see a day when he would ever fit into mine.
“Heath was nice,” he said.
“Heath’s amazing.”
“He wants to teach me to fish.”
“Eww. Don’t do it. It’s disgusting.”
