Page 95 of All That History
I nodded, slowly.“But?”
“But I’m angry,” she admitted.“Angry that you didn’t want to tell us, that it was better leaving us in the dark about this part of our son, who he is.”
My turn to glance away.“That was more about me, than it was about you and dad.”
The sigh sounded tired.“I know.And I feel...ridiculous isn’t the word, but maybe...disloyal.Making all this about me, when I know it’s really not.”
Somehow, the lump in my throat felt twice the size.“Are you disappointed?”
A snort.“What mother would dare say yes, to that.”
I thought about the stories I’d heard, the disasters.The times when coming out had meant being thrown out, too; the happy families fractured, because someone didn’t quite fit the space that had been carved out for them.Plenty of mothers might not dare say it, but that didn’t mean they’d have love in their hearts for a queer child.
“It just got easier to hide it,” I confessed, softly.
“And Flynn?”
“I don’t think his parents know, no.”
The laugh was loud, surprising.Genuine amusement in her expression.“Well, no.I figured that.”
Which left a list of other potential questions.I stuck a pin in one of them, the one the answer to which was still simmering in the back of my mind.
“He and I...reconnected.Recently, I mean.”
“He’s a handsome boy,” she said, wryly.“Grew up nicely.”
Not like I could argue with that, though agreeing seemed fraught, too.
“He wants me to move in with him.”
“I’m assuming you don’t mean next door.”
Silence, for a stretching moment.
“I won’t go, if you don’t want me to.If you and dad need me here.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”The scowl was back.“Do you think we’re weak old fools?”
“No, of course not, but...”
It was that piercing look again, the one which made me cringe inwardly.“Or do you think we’d stand in the way of our son being happy?Do you think so little of us?”
I hissed, a sudden spike of frustration.“No!It’s not about you, it’s...”
She waited, expression eventually softening.“Do you want to move in with him?”
I chewed my lip.“I like him.”
“That wasn’t the question I asked.”
For a moment I thought I was going to snap again, that the reaction was inescapable.Only it came out as a long sigh.“I wish he lived here.It’d be so much...easier.”
“Would it?Easier for two young men dating, in a town like this?”
“I wouldn’t have to move,” I pointed out, sullenly.
She pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, sitting down and gesturing for me to do the same.Waited, until I was opposite her, to reach out and clasp both my hands in her own.
