Page 139 of The Off Limits Captain
“It comes and goes. I’m fine in practice.”
“You grabbed the boards weird on that last rep.”
“Bad angle.”
“Finn.”
“I want to play.” His jaw is tight. “I am not becoming a clipboard.”
“Nobody said—”
“They don’t have to say it.” He looks at me directly. The kind of direct that means scared and done pretending. “I know what happens when you’re limited. I watched Brewer spend six weeks as a healthy scratch and come back different. Not bad different. Just—” He shakes his head. “I can’t do that right now.”
I put my back against the opposite wall and slide down to the floor. Which is not a captain move but is a human one, and sometimes they require different things.
“Who else knows?” I ask.
“Just me.” Finn picks at the edge of his knee pad. “And now you.”
I look at the ceiling. The fluorescents have that industrial hum.
“Maren needs to know,” I say.
“She’ll pull me.”
“If you take a hit while you’re dizzy—”
“I know what the risk is.” His voice cracks the way young men’s voices crack when they are angry and scared at exactly the same time. “I’m not stupid.”
“I didn’t say stupid.”
“You said Maren.”
I think about the kid in front of me. Twenty-three. First year. Finally playing a full playoff run healthy. Finally good enough that his roster spot is not up for debate every morning.
I stand. Hold out a hand.
Finn stares at it like he is reading the fine print.
Then he takes it.
I get him up, get him moving, get him to the training room with one hand on his shoulder. Not a grip. Just presence.
Maren is still there.
She looks at Finn. Then at me.
“How long?” she says.
“A couple of days.”
The look she gives me says we are going to have a separate conversation about how a couple of days has been allowed to become a couple of days. She waves Finn toward the table.
Finn sits. He looks tired all of a sudden. Like deciding to tell someone has used all of everything.
Maren reaches for her light pen.
Once Maren writes it down, it stops being private and becomes a record. “I’m starting from the beginning. And I need you to actually answer me.”
