Page 58 of The Silent Bride
‘Same,’ I reply.
‘I should think so,’ he replies. ‘Now, am I going to have to wrestle it out of you, or are you going to tell me what’s so bad that your apricot Danish and hazelnut latte aren’t being devoured immediately?’
I try to respond to his quip, but my mind and body are clouded by the whole Damian thing which I’m trying my best to forget.
‘Alice?’ he prompts softly. I know he’s worried when he calls me by my first name.
I throw up my hands and tell him about my horribly disappointing morning at the office. And once I’ve got through that, I also tell him that I’ve now officially ended things with Seth.
‘I’m sorry to offload all this on you, on top of everything else you’ve been helping me with. I don’t want to be one of those friends who moans about everything.’
‘Porter, we’ve known each other since school, and this is the first time you’ve been really badly upset. Even back when Damian treated you like crap, you kept most of it to yourself. I’m here for you, okay?’
I bite my lip at his mention of my ex and nod. I decide not to tell him about my possible sighting of Damian as I think I’d rather erase the whole incident from my mind. ‘It’s just ... everything is sliding out of control. It feels like there are all these massive holes appearing everywhere in my life. Just weeks ago I had a fiancé, a great place to live, a successful career. Now, everything’s breaking apart. And I can’t ... I can’t stop feeling miserable and stressed all the time.’
‘Cut yourself some slack, Porter. You’re having a shit time; you’re allowed to feel rubbish.’
I nod and burst into tears, angry with myself for crying yetagain.
Laurence puts down his coffee and slides closer, putting his arm around me, letting me cry.
‘Thank you,’ I sniff. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘The feeling’s mutual.’
I bump him with my shoulder and we sit in companiable silence for a while. I pick up my coffee and take a few sips.
‘Hasn’t it gone cold by now?’ Laurence asks.
‘Lukewarm.’ I grimace.
He grins and then frowns.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
He gives his head a shake. ‘Nothing.’
I give him a look. ‘I’ve literally just poured my heart out to you, Kennedy. You don’t get to say “nothing”.’
‘It’s not the right time.’
I’m unnerved by his serious expression. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I ...’ Laurence stares down at his lap and then up again. Fixes me with a strange, intense gaze.
‘Youwhat?’ I notice how the cornflower blue of his eyes stands out against his dark lashes.
‘I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me, Alice. In case you didn’t know.’
‘Same,’ I reply.
‘No,’ he says. ‘Not the same.’
I look away and set down my coffee. Heat floods my throat and face as I try to work out if he’s saying what I think he’s saying.
‘Alice, I love you.’ Laurence’s voice is deep and clear. It fills up the room. Fills up my mind. It unbalances me.
For a moment, I wonder if he’s joking around. But when I look at him, I realise he’s serious. He looks anxious. Scared even.
