Page 25 of False Start
Coach Davenport is the last one off the bus, along with Connor and Jake.
My gaze is drawn to Jake as he eyes me, his brow furrowing before cautiously approaching me and taking the seat next to me.
“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re spiraling.”
“I’m fine.”
He rolls his eyes at me, knowing that I’m lying to him. “I know you better than that. You look like you’re in your head, what happened?”
“The coach called and asked to speak to me, and I guess I got all in my head about everything.” Even after all this time, he can still read me better than anyone else.
“Just try and take some deep breaths. I’m not sure what he’s gonna tell you, but I know for a fact that you’re not going to get fired or sent home right now. You’ve been nothing but a huge addition to this team.”
“How did you know that’s what was bothering me?”
He sighs, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. “You’re fidgeting your hands like you always do when something is bothering you. And even though it's been ten years, I like to still think I somewhat know you.”
I look down and see my hands bunched up together, picking at the skin of my nails.
Emilia’s eyes widen in surprise, before softening. She smiles at us, squeezing my knee in support from my other side.
Coach walks over along with Connor as they both take a seat on the opposite couch. Coach sighs as he rubs his face, a look of sadness and defeat in his eyes.
“Kailyn, I’m sorry if my call worried you.”
“It’s alright. But are you okay? You sounded concerned.”
“I’m fine. But I’ll cut right to the chase. Dr. Sanders collapsed at the arena earlier today. He was taken to the hospital and they are running some tests now.”
“Oh my gosh. Is he okay?” I know the last couple of days he’s been slower than usual, letting me do more of the heavy lifting, but I didn’t see this happening. I hope it’s not as bad as Coach is making it seem based on the tired and somber expression on his face.
“I’m going to be honest, and this stays here with us. Josh has been battling some health issues for a while now.” Exhaustion laces his tone, highlighting how much this is affecting him. “His health has been declining, and he’s been sick on and off since the beginning of this year. His sister is on her way here to be with him and take him home once he’s ready, but at this rate, he’s not doing as well as the doctors hoped he would be. That being said, I need to prioritize him and his recovery, which is the reason I called you.”
I stare at him, a little confused by his last statement.
“With your background, level of experience, and expertise, I need your help running things while he’s out of commission. Just until we can find a permanent solution. I know this is a lot to ask since you’re brand new to this team, but I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think you were right for the job. That, and Josh said he trusted you more than anyone else he has.”
I’m not sure what to say right now. I know I can do my job, I know how to help patients and make medical decisions, but I’m not sure if I can run an entire department, especially when they’ve all been here longer than I have.
Will everyone else on the medical team be upset at this?Will they trust me to make decisions and work with me? Am I good enough to take on this responsibility?
“This is a lot to process, can I have some time to think about it?” I ask in a hushed tone.
I see a soft smile cross his features. “Like I said, it’s a lot to ask, so take your time. He will be out of tonight’s game, so I would prefer an answer by game time, so I can move things around.”
I nod at him.
My thoughts are all over the place, imposter syndrome taking over. While I know how to do my job as an athletic trainer, the responsibilities of leading an entire medical program is so much different from anything I’ve ever done. I’d be responsible for an entire team of doctors, looking to me for direction and guidance, and one wrong move could make or break everything.
I can’t speak or move right now. I’m locked in place, like I’m losing control of myself.
Two rough hands slide against my neck and jaw, palming the back of my head and turning my face to the side. Jake’s fingers lace in my hair, softly rubbing the back of my neck as I stare into his deep chocolate brown eyes. The same eyes that I’ve stared at a million times before. It’s a sense of familiarity, comfort, and home. He places his forehead on mine, and we breathe together, slow and deep, until my heart stops racing. I can feel my breaths sync up with his. He’s anchoring me back to reality, just like he used to back then. Back when it was as easy as this.
“There she is. Just keep taking nice and steady breaths, listen to my voice, and let all of your anxieties wash away. It’s just you and me right now, no one else is here.”
I chance a look next to us and see the opposite couch is empty. They must’ve left when I started to spiral—I’m notsure how long it’s been, but Jake stayed. He stayed with me, held me to him, and helped bring me back to reality.
“I’m sorry you had to do this again.”
