Page 15 of False Start
There’s no doubt he said what he said that night, but up until then, Jake had always made me feel like I was the center of his world. He never gave any indication that he wasn’t as in love with him as I was. Instead of talking to him, instead of having a rational conversation and hearing him out, I pushed him away and left, because it was easier to leave first then face my worst fears.
But in my rush to protect myself, did I just end up hurting both of us more, or was I right to leave when I did?
“Well, I have to get to my meetings. I wanted to wish you good luck today and just remind you that it’s okay to be scared. Just keep showing up and keep trying. You are stronger than you think. And maybe he’ll surprise you.”
She hugs me tightly before letting me go, walking to the door and making her way to her meeting.
I gather my things from my desk and take a few calmingbreaths before I walk out of my office and make my way to the PT room. I know theoretically what the job of an athletic trainer entails, as things change from team to team. That doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous, like it’s the first day of school all over again.
As I make my way down the hall, I come across a man standing at the end of the hall near Dr. Sanders’ room. Other than Emilia, I haven’t gotten to know anyone else here, so I decide to introduce myself to him, hoping he’s one of my coworkers.
“Hi, I’m Kailyn. It’s nice to meet you.” I extend my hand in greeting and watch as he looks me up and down, as if both checking me out and assessing me. His eyes darken into an almost black color, and it makes my skin itch in a way I’ve never felt before.
I’m used to people looking at me because of my size, either because they think I owe them something or in disgust. Men have done this to me my entire life, especially during my internship years. I should be used to this behavior, but something about the way he peruses my body as if he has no shame in his actions makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention.
He pushes off the wall, closing the distance and sliding into my space a little too close for comfort. “I’m Eric,” he says in a sultry voice, his hand reaching for mine in return.
He’s classically handsome in the way most men are, with dark blonde hair that's short on the sides and longer on the tops and a smile that reveals a dimple on his left cheek.
I’m not really sure how to describe the feeling, but the second his hand touches mine, I instantly want to pull away from him. Something in my gut is telling me this man is trouble. It could be just my past experiences with menplaying a trick on me or it could be my nerves at meeting someone new.
Or maybe I should listen to my gut?
“Are you going to be working with Dr. Sanders and I?” I ask, stepping back slightly from him to gain more personal space.
He shakes his head, leaning on the wall in a casual manner. “No, I was just leaving his office, actually. I have a few important things to take care of today.”
“Oh, well, I don’t want to keep you waiting. It’s nice to meet you, Eric.” I take a step around him, about to open the door when something tells me to look behind me, and I see the hooded look in Eric's eyes as he scans my body once again.
“Oh, you definitely will, Kailyn.” He winks at me before taking off down the hall.
Shuddering, I take a few calming breaths to wash away how uncomfortable that interaction made me feel and continue into the PT room. I don’t want that one interaction to affect how I do my job.
As I open the door, I’m greeted with Dr. Sanders, head of the PT department, standing in the middle of the room, setting up for the day. He’s an older man, short with gray hair and big glasses framing his face. Ever since he and Coach Davenport contacted me three months ago to offer me the position, I’ve built a strong connection with him through our many phone calls. He reminds me a lot of my dad, in that ‘he’s kind, caring, and a little cheesy when it comes to his dad jokes’ kind of way. I was so excited when I found out that we would be working together this season. He’s a legend in the sports medicine field and has a great reputation and career under his belt. Hopefully I can learn a lot from him throughout this next year as he mentors me.
“Good morning, Dr. Sanders,” I greet him as I set my bag and papers down and walk over to the table he’s standing at.
“Good morning, my dear. And please, call me Josh. We’ll be colleagues after all, so it’s only fair.” He tells me again, like he has throughout our many phone calls.
I smile back at him, wanting to be polite. “Of course. Is there anything I can do to help set up before we start calling players in?”
“I’ve just about finished setting up, so there’s really nothing left.” He walks over to the desk and sits in the chair, leaning forward to place his glasses on top and wiping his hand over his eyes. There’s a faint tired look in his eyes.
This job takes a lot from us, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. As an athletic trainer, we spend countless hours learning and studying the human body and mind. We are in charge of not just a player's physical health, but also their mental health as well. We make sure that each player is ready not only to get back on the ice physically, but also mentally prepared for another shove by an opposing player or push into the boards. These players trust us with their lives, to make sure that they can play for as long as possible, and we have to ensure that they can trust us to take care of them.
While we’re not constantly exhausting ourselves on the ice with drills and physical activity, we work just as hard as them for the success of the individual player and the team, so it definitely takes its toll on us.
I walk over and take the chair opposite of him, waiting for his instructions.
He reaches over, squeezing my hand in his before pulling away and turning to the computer again. “I know it’s only day one, but I’m going to let you lead the physicalexams and I’m just going to observe. I want to see you in action and if you need any help, I’m here to answer any questions.”
I smile at him and stand, smoothing out my black slacks and polo, mentally going through my check list before I start the day. It's almost 9:00 a.m. now. The guys have been at practice for about an hour, and should be released soon.
Knowing that we’re about to start, I make sure that everything is set up, before taking a moment to gather my thoughts and center myself for my first day on the job.
“All right, let's get started, then.”
“Everything looks great, Maddox. Just keep up those stretches we talked about to help with your agility. And remember, it may be your first season on a team like this, but don’t push yourself too hard. Your stats and game will speak for themselves.”
