Page 11 of False Start
I know it’s not healthy, trust me; that was a fun couple of sessions with my therapist to unpack. But it’s the only way I still feel connected to her, the only piece of her that she left me, and I want to hold on to that for as long as I can.
I turn toward the stairs, and my heart instantly stops. She’s standing there with her brothers and Emilia, but Kailyn is the only one I see.
Her long brown hair is in loose curls going down her back, half pulled up by a clip. Her makeup looks simple, like she doesn’t even have any on. She’s wearing a long, dark-green dress with loose sleeves and a fit that hugs her hips and ass like a dream. The dress has a V-line neck that shapes and displays her breasts perfectly.
Her face and her smile are still the same as I remember them all those years ago, but it’s her body that’s changed. She’s always been a bigger girl, and that was something extra that I loved about her, because it meant there was more of her for me to hold onto. Her curves are more defined, her shape creating more of an hourglass figure as it accentuates her waist and her chest.
Just then, Violet walks over and hands me my drink, smiling at me as I thank her.
I take a large sip of my drink, turning my body as I try to discreetly adjust the tent that’s forming in my pants at the sight of Kailyn. Everyone else is distracted, but Connor looks at me out of the corner of his eye with a knowing smirk. I try to deflect, but he leans over and whispers in my ear. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” He winks at me.
Heat rushes to my cheeks. He chuckles at me and then ushers me to stand so we can greet them. I don’t want to look like more of an ass than I already am for the inappropriate thoughts I’m having about her, especially in front of her brothers, so I walk over to greet everyone. We all do the normal handshake and back slaps as I lean over and greet everyone. As the group moves farther into the VIP area, I realize I still haven’t actually talked to Kailyn.
She’s finally looking up at me, her hazel eyes sparkling under the dingy bar lights. She has such a softness to her, and all I want to do is drop to my knees and worship her. But I also want to drag her out of this club and beg for answers that, even after all these years, I’m sort of afraid to hear.
My dad’s words swirl in my head as a reminder.
“She must have her reasons for leaving the way she did.”
Even though I know his words make sense, it doesn’t stop the irrational anger that’s building in the pit of my chest. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her since she’s been back, so it doesn’t make sense to be this angry, but as she stands in front of me, looking more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her, something inside me shifts.
All day, she’s been acting as if I don’t affect her and that there’s nothing between us, when that time we shared meant everything to me.
As much as I said I wasn’t angry with her, the way she’s standing in front of me is bringing long buried anger and resentment to the surface.
“Hi, Jake,” she says. Her shoulders stiffen and her eyes crinkle as she looks down to the left, and with an exhale of a breath, I know she’s psyching herself up to say something important to me.
I feel like my body is on fire, the anxietyfrom earlier stirring up yet again mixed with this deep rooted anger that makes my skin crawl in the worst kind of way. Taking a couple deep breaths in, I replay my dads words, hoping that they’ll help center me as I speak the first words to Kailyn in almost ten years.
Chapter 5
Kailyn
“Hello, Kailyn,” his tone drips with venom, unlike I’ve ever heard before.
He’s always spoken to me like I’m his favorite person, and now I feel like I’m public enemy number one.
“Jake.” I pause, unsure what to say in this moment.
Part of me knew that this might be his reaction, that he might be holding on to his anger after everything, but I had hoped that maybe he didn’t hate me.
I can’t even blame him for it, because I also hate myself for what I did to him.
Tension fills the room between us, and I’m not sure what the right move here is.
“Jake, I’m sorry. I?—”
He cuts me off abruptly. “No.” His eyes are not showing anything other than anger and hurt.
“You don’t get to come back after all this time, and act like you didn’t ruin us. You pushed me away, ripped my heart out and then flew across the country as if everything we shared meant nothing to you. Hell, you couldn’t evenlook me in the eyes this morning, and I think that hurts more than anything else could.”
He’s pissed, and rightfully so, but how dare he blame me for hurting him when he’s the one that tore us apart in the first place.
“I only pushed you away because you broke my heart first,” I seethe in a hushed whisper, knowing that we’re still in public.
He takes a step back, his eyes widening in confusion.
Does he really not remember what he did? What he said?
