Page 162 of Aftershock
I’m putting an end to his misery right fucking now.
When my hand slips an inch out of his grip, and he doesn’t try to stop me, air filters into my lungs.
Emboldened, I test the waters further, resting my palm over his.
Our eyes remain locked when I send him the message I feel deep within my soul.
I’m okay with whatever you’ve been doing.
His eyebrows furrow at that, his lips pinching.
That’s a crack.
One I’m going to exploit by squeezing his hand. Maybe this reassurance will get through to him. Maybe he’ll let me explain myself.
Hope blooms in my chest when Alaric leans in.
“The gags stay,” he says, his forehead pressed to mine. “Please know that I hate it. I’m sorry.”
Tears well in my eyes as I nod. I hoped so fucking badly that he’d see reason on his own.
One kiss on my forehead, one hot, lingering breath on my skin, and he returns to his place.
“It started years ago.” Nothing about his voice betrays the storm raging inside him. “My past, then my work in trauma, pushed me into action. I couldn’t sit back and watch domestic violence patients get sent back to the people who’d brutalized them. The ones law enforcement didn’t put behind bars.”
His eyebrows lower. I don’t understand this look he’s leveling me with. It’s dark, not sad. Shuttered too, like he’s trying to hide something from me.
“Naturally, I couldn’t get to some, like your mother, who disappeared,” Alaric eventually continues, his strange expression dissolving. “That fucking bitch.”
His statement is a ray of light shining through the darkest clouds.
Whatever’s going on inside his head, Alaric has his priorities straight. The thing he cares about the most is my safety.
I’ll be fine.
His thumb smooths reverent paths over my cheekbone when he continues. “That’s why I bought this apartment. It was within walking distance of the hospital, there aren’t any cameras in the back…and there are relatively big storage units.” It doesn’t escape me that he doesn’t give me a timeframe. I’ll worry about that later. “From there, everything just fell into place. I hunted down people like your mom. Brought them to the soundproof room, and…”
A mirthless huff of a laugh escapes him. I tighten my grip on his hand as hard as I can. All so he’ll get it into his head that I support him. That I’d never think he’s a bad guy.
He simply shakes his head.
My stomach dips when I realize how high his walls are. That he can’t believe that I’d understand him, that I already do.
“I have to finish.” The corners of his lips curve down. “The notes in my notebook document the trials I ran onthese…people. Not because I get off on remembering them, but because they matter. They show me how I’m progressing as a physician and where I can improve my technique and timing. For my real patients. The ones who matter. But these trials are ugly. Gory. Nothing a normal doctor would ever dream of doing.”
Frustration sends a growl up my throat.
Five minutes ago, I was sure I couldn’t love or admire Alaric more.
Now, once I finally have the whole picture…
Holy shit. I worship him.
Only a noble, decent man could come up with a plan like that.
And he worries I might reject him?
I could never. He’s a god.
