Page 195 of Daddy's Trust
Was it her imagination, or did he give her a look of surprise?
“Go get your sisters and get in the car and wait,” Ralen said. “We’re going to need some help for this next part. Butch sent us a contact. I’ll give him a ring, arrange it.”
Cash nodded. “I’ll wait outside with the girls.”
53
Cash was finding it hard to come back into himself.
This always happened when it came to the more unsavory things that he had to do. He retreated to protect himself. Ralen knew and usually gave him some space. Although it wasn’t always possible to do that.
He knew from the concerned looks that Addie was giving him that she was worried about him. He wanted to reassure her that he was all right, but he couldn’t seem to do it.
They decided against going back to the girls’ house, and Dotty booked them into a hotel instead.
They all trudged into the room. It was the penthouse with three bedrooms. “There’s a sofa bed as well,” Dotty said. “I thought that maybe we wouldn’t want to be alone. I don’t know, but I prefer you all here. Is that all right?”
Dotty was looking shaken. He wanted to say something to reassure her, but nothing came to him.
So he simply grunted.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Ralen said. “It’s for the best. Why don’t you go have a shower, all of you? How many bathrooms does this place have?”
“There should be three, one for each bedroom. I’m going to take this bedroom, all right?” Dotty disappeared into the closest bedroom and Addie thought that she should go after her.
“I’ll share a room with Dotty,” Monroe said, following her sister.
Ralen glanced over at Cash. “I’m going to have a shower. Then I’ll call up for some food and drinks.”
Cash nodded.
And then it was just him and Addie standing in the living room. He stared at the sofa bed. “I’ll take the sofa. You go take the last bedroom.”
“Oh, I thought . . .” she trailed off.
He stared at her for a long moment until he realized that she wasn’t going to say anything else.
“What did you think?” he asked gruffly.
Her face grew red. “That you’d maybe stay in the bedroom. With me.”
He shook his head. “Not a good idea.”
“Oh.” Her gaze lowered and he hated that. Her shoulders curved in as though she was trying to make herself smaller.
And he hated even more that he was the one hurting her.
“That’s okay. I get it,” she said. “You don’t want to be in a bed with me yet.”
“It’s not that,” he said.
Her head rose, her eyes hitting his. “Then what is it?”
“Jesus, baby. You don’t think I want you? I want you so much that it hurts. And that’s why I should sleep out here. I’m not myself right now, and I’m not going to be myself for a while. I’m someone else. I’m who I need to be when there are things to do that I need to get done and don’t want to think about. I shut down the rest of me to do those things. I’m not a nice guy right now. I’m not your Daddy or your Cash. I’m the Cash whooperates on the wrong side of the law. Get me? And I’m trying to protect you from that Cash.”
“But what if I don’t want to be protected from you, Cash?” she said. “What if I want to know all sides of you?”
He shook his head. “I can’t guarantee that I’ll keep my hands off you. And I’m not taking you for the first time like this. Is it your first time, baby?”
