Page 94 of Venom Sweeter than Honey
Every time I come here, I long to go there.
To just disappear.
Let whatever lies beyond end this suffering.
As if sensing my train of thought, Somnus shakes his head, sadness lining every feature of his expression. “Suffering is life’s greatest teacher. All you have to do is learn its lesson, and the pain will stop.”
My hands tremble from the weight of my emotions.
“And what lesson is that, Somnus?”
He pauses for a moment, studying my features, already knowing that whatever illuminating answer he manages to conjure, it won’t change my mind.
“Tolet go, Violette.”
I huff a gillful of water, grinding my teeth together.
“Let what go of what, Somnus? My vow? My life’s purpose? Because what fucking purpose have I served beyond slaking the thirst of males who desire little more than to defile my body? Who are blind to the soul residing within it? A soul that not even my father deemed worthy of cherishing. Or is it to stand in an empty storefront because no one trusts a syrith or brothel whore to play matchmaker?”
Somnus swims closer, and I know he’s about to try to hug me. Console me. And I swear to fuck if he does, I’m going to jump out of my fucking skin because I am fuckingexhaustedof being so weak and driven to tears at the drop of a fucking coin.
Ever the mind reader, no matter how he protests he isn’t, Somnus stills, leaving two blessed feet of space between us, as he sighs in defeat.
“Violette… you have given all your power to others by allowing them, despite all their fallibilities, to dictate your worthiness. And because of it, you are consumed by a hatred and resentment that has blinded you to all the beauty of your soul—to just how worthy you truly are.”
The lump in my throat refuses to go away, no matter how many times I try to swallow it down.
“Do you not see how worthy of love you are?”
Somnus’s eyes search mine, desperate to find some sign of acceptance.
“Let go of all this hatred and resentment. Out of everyone involved, you’re the only one holding on to it.”
Quieting my voice, my emotions, I speak aloud, needing to hear the words myself. To reaffirm them.
“I want him to die. He destroyed more than half the continent in a war. Raped and pillaged countless cities. Manipulates all those who know him. How many other bastardchildren has he abandoned? He betrayed my mother. He betrayed?—”
My words stop short, my body and mind unwilling to admit just how much this Akash-forsakengod of the sea has affected me.
“He betrayed you,” Somnus finishes for me. Unwilling to let me bury the admission, like I do everything else. “It’s okay to be angry. You deserved better. But you’re allowing a male, who will never choose you, to destroy your peace. Your happiness. Your life.”
I shake my head.
“A male like that doesn’t deserve to live.”
“Perhaps not, but allowing all of this hatred to fester is like drinking the poison intended for your enemy. All you’re doing is killing yourself.”
My eyes burn with tears that feed the sea.
“I want to wake up now.”
VIOLETTE
Levi’s warm chest rises and falls in a mesmerizing rhythm that lures my palm to the center of his chest. My mind distantly wanders to the note that appeared out of thin air in Caerwynath all those years ago, and how it mentioned that the love I longed for would one day find me.
Is this who they meant?
The fact he is mysoulboundguarantees nothing—as my parents have proved.
