Page 168 of Venom Sweeter than Honey
Azrael’s rationale settles my mind like a tornado roping out before finally dissipating, leaving stillness and clarity in its wake.
Warm fingers tip my chin, lifting my gaze to his.
“Your desire to reciprocate our decisiveness in choosing you so swiftly is appreciated, but misplaced, Violette. It’s okay to take your time. Wise, even, to give people the time and opportunity toshowyou who they are. Not who theysaythey are. And if they aren’t willing to wait that out, then they weren’t meant for you anyway.”
In that moment, Azrael’s words seem to rewrite a faulty wiring in my brain—previously conditioned to give all of myself to anyone who showed the slightest care towards me because—outside of my mother, Jamila, Thessaly, and Horus—I’d spent my life so deprived of it.
It’s a liberating sensation that lingers until my mind drifts towards Azrael’ssoulbound,Persephone.
“Az…”
A soft smile graces his mouth at the nickname and the familiarity it suggests. “Yes, little seraphim?”
His hand settles on my face to cradle my jaw, thumb stroking the apple of my cheek, making my heart swell with affection and pleasure even as dread teases the edges of it.
“What if Persephone one day decided to come back?”
As I wait for his answer, my throat suddenly becomes thick and dry. His brow tenses, heightening that dread.
“You know, it’s actually a blessing when the object of your desire rejects you…”
My brows pinch in confusion, and he continues, suddenly looking sheepish.
“It leaves room for someone better.”
His words inspire nothing more in me than a mirthless smirk.
“I have a hard time putting any faith in such a declaration. Persephone is yoursoulbound. There couldn’t possibly be anyone better for you than her.”
Azrael’s brows cinch together. “Finding one’ssoulbounddoes not guarantee unity or perfection, Violette. It guarantees karma. Whatever that may be—good or bad. I have witnessed manysoulboundwho are one another’s greatest adversaries. Thesoulbondis there to guide us towards the highest, most evolved versions of ourselves. And sometimes that means letting go of what wethinkwe want.”
“Explain.”
Azrael sighs. “I’ll give you a personal example. Since I can remember, I have always been lonely. Have felt cursed by it. I am the God of Death and Endings, after all. Everyone I have ever grown to love inevitably leaves, whether by death, choice,or otherwise. Naturally, it taught me to never love at all, just to avoid the heartbreak..."
Akash almighty. He sounds like Levi. I can’t help but be a little awed at just how much of a mirror we are of one another.
“But when I learned of Persephone—a goddess of life and beginnings—I was convinced I had finally been blessed with someone who could andwouldremain by my side. Someone I wouldn’t ever be forced to say goodbye to. Without even knowing her, I became obsessed with theideaof her. The idea of what we could be. What we could have. And namely, thatshewas the solution to my problems. That if I could just haveher,I would be happy.”
He pauses, and I arch a brow at him, waiting for him to continue despite the flare of jealousy I feel.
“Over the numerous millennia in which we played our game of cat and mouse—me the cat, she the mouse—we were trapped in a perpetual cycle of running, hiding, capture, fleeting interludes, followed by escape. It revealed many things about her nature. Our characters. How very little we had in common. But most importantly, just how vain an endeavor it is to seek happiness outside of anyone but yourself.
“To hinge your mental well-being on another person. How wrong it is to laden another person’s shoulders with that kind of burden. It also awakened me to the fact that I am the creator and perpetrator of my own madness. The creator of my own world and circumstances—which were miserable at the time because I remained willfully deaf and blind to the lesson I was being taught, and so the cycle continued.”
Azrael gives a sad chuckle. “And I now believe that she was the only one capable of teaching me those lessons because I’m fairly confident no one else would have been able to resist my charm…”
He tilts his head towards me, batting his long, dark lashes.
I scoff a laugh as he continues. “And even if they could, they likely would have died beforehand…”
“And yet you still wish to... have a partner?”
He gives a helpless shrug. “I’m still a hopeless romantic. Still crave union. I just... have learned not to hinge my happiness upon it.”
“And are you happy?”
“Occasionally. The key is to find peace in any state, and not to become too attached to any one particular thing or state of being. The very nature of this world is change. If you place too much weight on anyone or anything, you’re bound to have the rug ripped out from beneath you.”
