Page 1 of New Rules
ONE
TAMMY
Brains are awesome. I just wish everyone had one.
Years as a bartender made me realize that brains might not be standard equipment for all.
For example, the man in front of me. His name was Donald, and he was a regular here at the Watering Hole pub. He came in when he said or did something stupid and his wife kicked him out—which usually happened at least once a week.
“Tammy, hear me out, though,” Donald continued, slurring his words. “Brenda’s always tired. Everydayshe’s tired. When I told Brenda that a man needs more naked massages, she told me that if I wanted her help with that, then I had to help out around the house more so she wouldn’t be so tired after she gets home from work. But…that’s dumb. House stuff is the woman’s job. You get that, Tammy.”
I stopped and stared at this man in front of me—a man who clearly had more confidence than common sense.
I had no idea why on earth he thought he was going to get me to agree on such an asinine subject and told him as much. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. And one of us needs to be the smart one here.”
His immediate need to argue made me realize I should have cut him off a few beers ago. “Yeah, but my dick ain’t gonna suck itself.”
“I miss who I was before I heard that,” I said, closing my eyes and wishing for a moment that I was something other than a bartender.
I’d met Brenda before, and I still had no idea why she hadn’t kicked him to the curb, but I knew other women who stayed with their man when they shouldn’t. It wasn’t my place to tell anyone what to do.
“Since Brenda isn’t here to defend herself, I feel the need to speak for her—and all women, for that matter—when I say you’re confusing your wife with a maid.”
“What’d you say?” he slurred again.
I rolled my eyes and groaned. “I said it’s time for a cab to take you home,” I told him and then walked over to close out his tab.
“But Brenda ain’t gonna let me in.”
“Then have the cab drop you off at a friend’s house, but you’re done here for the night.”
Because this happened often, I always took Donald’s credit card when he first came in so I could hold on to it until I closed out his tab. And to make sure I had something he needed in order to make sure he didn’t drive himself home.
“Keys,” I demanded, holding out my open hand.
He grunted and grumbled, but he handed them over. Once I had them, I handed him his credit card along with the check.
“Sign that and go get yourself a cab. I’ll see you in a couple days after you apologize to Brenda.”
“Not happenin’,” he mumbled, but he absolutely would.
Corey, my other bartender for the night, helped escort a whining Donald outside to get a cab. The look on his face when he returned told me that was not an easy task.
I wiped down the counter area and printed out a check for another customer before Corey finally spoke up.
“How that man is still married is beyond me,” he said.
“No clue either,” I told him, shaking my head. “I’ve met Brenda a few times, and she seems like a smart gal, but she’s clearly got rose-colored glasses on when it comes to him.”
“More like blind and dumb if you ask me,” Corey mumbled back and then elbowed me. “Why don’t you get out of here? We’ve got like four people left in the entire place. I think I can handle closing.”
I’d closed the last two nights, so I was fine with heading home a little early tonight. I was the manager, though, so I felt bad just walking out. But Corey was right. There was hardly anyone in here, so it made no sense for me to linger.
I stayed for another twenty minutes restocking, cleaning up, and making sure he didn’t have much to do when he finally closed the place down in two hours before I finally packed up.
“I’m headed out. See ya tomorrow.” I waved to Corey as I left.
“I’m off the next two days, but I’ll see ya around,” he hollered back, and I nodded, remembering he had swapped shifts with someone else earlier today.
