Page 75 of Last Chance Cowboy
She heard rumors that women were multi-orgasmic, but had never tested the theory herself. After all, self-pleasure wasn’t really an all-night affair. At least, not for her. Congratulations to the person who lit candles and really went for it like that. But it wasn’t her deal.
But Zane made the theoretical reality a reality, sucking her clit deep at the same time as he thrust his fingers inside her again, and she unraveled. Clutching his shoulders, digging her fingernails into his skin.
“I needed that,” he said, lifting his head and putting his hands over his face for a moment.
He needed that? He hadn’t even…
But before she could ask any questions, he went into the bathroom.
Before she could ask what he was doing, he had returned with a box of condoms.
It was interesting that he didn’t keep them close at hand.
The box also wasn’t open.
Later, maybe she would ask some questions about that, but then, as soon as she had that vague thought, she realized that if she started asking questions, he might ask questions.
When he took a condom packet out of the box and tore it open, rolled it onto his hard length, she realized that herresistance to him knowing about her lack of sexual history was as ridiculous as trying to close her legs to keep him from looking at her.
Because she knew about his past. Knew about his pain. Knew about the things that kept him awake at night. Now she had seen him naked, and he was going to be inside of her, so why was she embarrassed? About anything?
Then she really couldn’t think. Because he got back onto the bed, over her, his gaze intense.
He settled between her legs, and she knew that this was the moment, that she either asked for him to be gentle, or she just let it happen the way that it was going to happen.
She decided to go with the second option and hope for the best.
He kissed her at the same time as he thrust deep inside of her. And his fingers did not prepare her for this. Nothing prepared her for this. He was so big, and the sensation of being filled by him was so… So overwhelming.
It wasn’t incredibly painful, but it was…
She could feel tears pushing at the back of her eyes, and she closed them because she didn’t want him to see them.
Didn’t want him to second-guess anything. Because this was about her, about the enormity of it… about how she hadn’t expected having another person inside of her to be this…
She didn’t know what she’d been thinking.
She’d been thinking about sex the way everybody talked about sex. Like it was an experience you have to have, like riding a really big rollercoaster or jumping off the tallest bridge in your town into the river. Like it was a fun thing. Like it felt good. Like it could be casual. Just a thing that you did.
She had been convinced it could be that way, even. Had even been toying with the idea of losing her virginity with Walker or Jackson because it would be easy.
She’d been foolish. Naïve. It wasn’t jumping off a bridge. It wasn’t tearing off a Band-Aid or getting a handshake. It was having another person inside of you. Inside of you. And it was… It was just so much more, so much more profound than she had imagined it would be.
A wave of emotion washed over her body, and she did her best to let it pass. Did her best to focus on the physical sensations because they were good.
She took a deep breath, tried to find herself again. Tried to ground herself. Then he began to move.
And it was like nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered but the feeling of him inside of her. The feeling of them being together. Of him claiming her, over and over again.
She pushed her fingers through his hair, looked at the tension in his face, the tendon standing out in his neck. Cataloging all these little features of him, of his pleasure. Of what it was like to be this close to him. His pleasure began to build deeper pleasure in her.
Until she closed her eyes and let go. A free fall into the deepest, most intense orgasm she’d ever had. He pressed his forehead against hers, his movements becoming more erratic as he gave himself up to his own release.
Then, it was just the sound of their breathing. Her heart beating in her ears.
Her whole body buzzing.
She wasn’t a virgin anymore. So there was that. But that word didn’t even make sense to her anymore because this didn’t make sense.
