Page 133 of Secret Husband
“Alexei, what the hell? You can’t pay off Thad’s debts!”
“I have the money, and if this helps you earn back the trust of your clients, then this is the way to do it. You know they would never see that money again, otherwise.”
I had been thinking up ways to pay back the people Thad had defrauded, though at the last count we were looking at close to a million dollars, and that was just the people I knew personally. I could front some of it, but I could never cover the entire debt. Gunnar had said I shouldn’t have to—once Thad was apprehended, he would be forced to make restitution. But that could take years, if it happened at all, and there would likely be nothing left to repay while he spent it all, funding his life on the lam. In the meantime, my reputation was in tatters and my business was destroyed.
But to have Alexei help me with this? It was generous but also typically high-handed. My husband in a nutshell.
He stepped outside and gestured to the bench on his porch. I took a seat and he sat beside me, about a foot of useless space between us.
“I thought about making it a condition of the divorce settlement, but then I imagined you wouldn’t want any more delays.”
“No, I-I wouldn’t. I appreciate you getting those papers back to me.” We were no longer married—or at least we wouldn’t be as soon as my lawyer filed the paperwork. I moved a little closer. “Jason told me that your dad took a turn for the worse.”
He gusted out a weary sigh. “I had hoped it might be a phase. That he would look at me or hear me speak Russian, and it would come back to him. But he keeps asking for my mother and then telling Maya that his son plays hockey. The same son who is lazy but good when he applies himself.” His wry smirk faded on the wobble of his lips. He swiped at a tear. “The man I know is fading away, Lauren.”
“Oh, Alexei, I’m so sorry.” I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. No matter our problems, I still cared for him so much. Seeing him in such pain killed me.
He drew back, sniffed, and put the heel of his palm to his eye. “I had plans to hire a Russian nurse. Two Russian nurses who would have to live in while I’m on the road. I’ve even thought about taking a break from hockey, but at my age, that’s pretty much the same as retirement.”
“Yeah, you’re so old.”
He snorted. “Still busting my balls, zhena.”
Wife. I’d allow it.
“Think about what’s best for your dad and yourself. He might not want to be put in a home, but neither would he want you putting your career on hold.”
“He doesn’t even know who I am, never mind the career I have.”
Oh, my love. I understood grief, but grieving for someone who died a little every day had to be so hard.
“I read somewhere that the memories might vanish, but the feelings don’t. He might not remember you, but he’ll remember how he felt around you.”
“Even if he thinks I’m a stranger?”
“Even then.”
He paused, then I saw the moment he came to a decision. “He wrote me a letter.”
I blinked in surprise. “When?”
“Last year, when he was officially diagnosed. He asked his lawyer to send it to me before the next season started.” He pulled an envelope from the back pocket of his jeans. “Would you like to read it?”
“If you’re okay with that, and assuming it’s in English.”
He smiled. “It is.”
I removed the single page and unfolded it.
* * *
Dear Aloysha,
You may be wondering why I am writing to you instead of talking to you. We have just left the doctor’s office, and the news is not good. I thought this would be a way to tell you more easily how I feel, especially as there will come a time when I can no longer find the right words. Or any words at all.
You gave up so much to save me from the people who would harm me. You put your life on hold and missed out on building the life you wanted. At some point, I may ask you not to send me away. It will be the fear talking, not the supposedly brave man who stood up to the government that wanted to kill him. I also know that the burden of caring for me may become too much.
If there comes a time when it is better for me, and for you, to place me in the care of others, please do it.
