Page 51 of Foxx
She smiles sadly. “Nope, I was at my boyfriend’s, high as a fucking kite.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
“After a two-week-long bender when they died, I almost died myself. I woke up in the hospital, malnourished and detoxing. I was pregnant, and I didn’t know. Ten weeks along.”
My mouth falls open, and another tear spills down my cheek.
“I lost the baby while I was there. I had an infection in my foot from a cut that never healed right. I was high and wanderingaround outside barefoot when a neighbor found me and called an ambulance. They kept me for a week to rule out sepsis, and it got me clean. I went straight from the hospital to rehab.” She smiles. “I just celebrated sixteen years clean.”
“That’s amazing,” I tell her with a sad smile. “An inspiration.”I wish Nic could have had that chance.
I breathe out a sigh. “I hate being left behind. Their ghosts are always haunting me.”
She puts her turning signal on. “I wondered for a long time why I lived and they didn’t. I was mad at the world, but that doesn’t help. It will suck the life out of you, honey.”
I look out the window as we turn into my driveway. “I kept thinking about how I could’ve saved her if I had only made different choices.”
“So did I,” she offers.
I turn to face her. “How long before you stopped beating yourself up?”
“Still haven’t, but moving forward helps. When the man that you’re so hell-bent on fighting promoted me to manager, it felt like a reward for staying on the right path. This is gonna sound a little morbid, but I thank my lucky stars every day that Marco died and Aiden is the boss now.”
She nods toward my house. “This you? 109?”
“Yeah.” I look up to the porch. A flash of me and Nic sitting on it with our pretend nail salon runs through my mind, and for the first time since she died, I don’t shy away from it. I smile and squeeze Roz’s hand. “Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I miss her,” I whisper.
“That never goes away, but it does get easier to remember the good things,” Roz says, her eyes crinkling a little in the corners. “Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”
She squeezes my hand back and narrows her eyes. “Now, go get your things. Boss specifically told me not to be late today.”
I smile at her and get out of the car. I see the truck that was behind us drive past my house, and for some reason, it still leaves me feeling unsettled. I give my head a shake. All this talk about Dagger following me has gotten under my skin.
Stop being paranoid, Mia.
* * *
It only takes us an hour to get my things and drop them back off at Aiden’s before heading to the club.
As I enter, I immediately notice that Aiden isn’t here and start to wonder if he’s avoiding me and if what happened between us last night has set me back in getting closer to him. Every time anything sexual happens between us, he pulls away.
I spend the next hour getting ready before the club opens. I pick out a sexy little black dress with spaghetti straps that falls to the perfect mid-thigh spot and hugs my body tightly. The soft fabric feels sultry and is just enough to tease. I smooth it out and check my ass in the mirror as I listen to Libby and Trina gossiping about their night at the clubhouse. Trina applies pretty red lipstick, saying she may be making progress with Raef, one of the Disciples.
“I bet he makes things official,” Libby says to Trina, her voice happy. “Your ass is perfect. Stop fussing, Mia,” she adds to me with a wink in the mirror.
I smile back. “Thanks.”
“Who all was there last night?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible.
Trina rattles off some girls’ names from here and some of the members, none of which are Aiden.
“Hewasn’t there,” Libby says, looking at me.
“Oh, I wasn’t…” I start.
“Yes, you were.” Libby’s assesses me, placing her hand on my arm.
“You know, with that dress…” She searches around her makeup table until she finds what she wants. “Maybe try leaving all your hair down. We can curl it. A little black mascara on those lashes and some red lips. Fuckinghot.”
