Page 65 of The Same Flesh
“Fuck me,” Jem said.“Sounds like Kai.”
“Yeah, well, that was part of it too.Dale’s whole thing was that Kai needed to cowboy up.Like, be more butch.Part of that was the lisp—you know about that?And part of it was just that in Dale’s opinion, Kai was a sissy or a queer or a fag.And you’ve got to remember, Kai was ten or eleven or whatever, still a child.But that was Dale’s mission.And that meant nobody got it harder than Kai.He used his belt mostly, anytime he thought Kai was being too soft.And—”
But then Scott cut off.
“And?”Tean prompted.
In the front room, Scipio barked.
“Scott?”Jem asked.
“Look, I’m really uncomfortable with this.But I’m going to tell you because—because it was so fucking weird.And when you said I wasn’t shocked that Kai had hurt someone…” His voice took on new strain when he said, “I’ve thought about this for years.Can’t get it out of my head.And I want you to know I’m embarrassed or ashamed or whatever.But I was a kid, too, and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Of course,” Tean said.“We’re just trying to understand what’s going on.”
“Good luck.”Scott’s laugh was frantic, almost manic.“You know how I said that the sex stuff wasn’t really a surprise?The way Dale talked, I mean.The stuff he was saying to kids, the stuff that was totally inappropriate?Well, that’s because I knew what was going on with Kai.”
“Was he abusing Kai?”
“Physically, yes.He beat the shit out of him sometimes.Emotionally and psychologically?For sure.Kai never measured up.He was a piece of shit.He was a sissy.He was a fag.But sexually?I don’t think Dale ever touched him, if that’s what you’re asking.But he did—” The silence of a held breath.And then an explosive release, and a choppy string of words.“He gave him these pictures.Porn.Women being tied up.Women being hurt.BDSM stuff, but—but mean.I’m not into kink shaming, and people can enjoy whatever gets their rocks off, but listen, these pictures—they were about hurting these women.Degrading them.God, when I told you I can’t get it out of my head, that’s what I’m talking about.”
“Was this part of his attempt to turn Kai straight?”Tean asked.
“I don’t know.I don’t know if he really believed Kai was gay or if he was just trying to butch him up.But Kai showed me those photos one time, and I said I didn’t want to see them again.We didn’t talk about them after that, but I knew he had them.I should have told someone, I guess.I don’t know what I should have done.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jem said under his breath.
“Like I said, it was fucked up.”
In the front room, Scipio was barking again—loud, excited.A family walking their dogs, maybe.Or kids on their bikes.
“Did you give Kai a poster of a cowboy?”Tean asked.
“Holy shit, does he still have that?Yeah.I gave it to him when he turned sixteen.By then, Dale had him interested in roping and riding—or even if he wasn’t interested, he had to act like he was.At school, he’d spend every minute he could with the drama kids, but as soon as he got home, it was all the cowboy shit.It was kind of a joke, the poster.Because the guy was hot, and I knew Kai thought he was hot.But Dale couldn’t say anything about it because he was a rodeo champion.I thought I was so fucking smart.”
“But Kai didn’t identify as gay?”
“I mean, until I came out, neither did I.But we did alottogether, and you can’t convince me he didn’t like it.Particularly since he started most of it.You’ve got to understand, though, that it’s different out there.Maybe he felt like he couldn’t come out.Or maybe he’s bi and he was just having fun and figuring himself out.I don’t know.Like I said, the one time I tried to talk to him about it, he lost his mind.Hell, if Dale had been around and Kai tried coming out, I honestly think he would have killed him.”
“When did Dale die?”Jem asked.
“Before I left for college, so I guess when Kai was sixteen or so.I can’t say I was sad, but it was a pretty messed up way to go, even for an asshole like Dale.I heard someone say he was out in that barn for almost a full day before somebody found him, and by then, it was too late.”
“What happened to him?”
“He fell.”
Goose bumps tightened Jem’s skin.
“You said you wanted to know where he was,” Scott said abruptly.“Did you already look at Direwolf Ranch?”
“What’s that?”Tean asked.
“That depends on who you ask.It’s this old ranch in the middle of nowhere.They’ve got a few buildings still standing, and about a million No Trespassing signs, but I don’t think anybody has lived out there for decades.But it’s one of those places people talk about like it’s—”
“Haunted?”Jem said.
“Yeah.Or maybe ‘paranormal’ would be a better word.People say that UFOs land there and take you away, and when you come back, you’re different.Or skinwalkers—have you heard of that?There are caves below the ranch, and everybody says that’s where skinwalkers used to change shape.They talk about things coming out of other dimensions, things that are like here, but not.”He laughed.“Wolves from Planet X.”
